Second That Emotion

All of us (though some are exempt from this) have been or still are hostage to our emotions, with many people not even being aware of how they feel from one moment to the other.

However being aware of how you are feeling and the thoughts you have – can help you gain some control over wayward emotions such as anger, angst, sadness or anxiety. Basically the more ‘self aware’ you become the more able you are to control your emotions.

Being self aware simply means being aware of our thoughts and feelings which in turn gives us the opportunity to be ‘aware’ of them without becoming emotionally attached to them and when we become the ‘observer’ of our emotions we can choose whether we wish to change how we feel or wallow in our emotions.

For example, how many of us have been cut up on the road at some point by what would appear to be a ‘thoughtless’ driver? Most of us no doubt! But self awareness allows us to see that our angry response to this incident is ours – maybe our outburst (expletives!) are called for but maybe they weren’t – maybe the guy just didn’t see you?

So yes we got angry – but being aware that you are angry in the first place is great but being aware that our response to this incident is also our choice – means we gain control over how we feel – or for how long we feel these emotions, because lets face it – feeling bad sucks!

Self awareness allows us to remain calm in stressful situations, helps us to chose a more beneficial or positive state of mind and as a result we feel more balanced and positive. We become the ‘observer’ of our emotions – ‘I am feeling angry/sad/overwhelmed etc – which enables us to distance ourselves from those negative emotions and then gives us leverage to change them into a more positive one, if we want to! So if we find ourselves in a bad mood we can get ourselves out of it more quickly than other people who are less aware of their emotions.

On the flip side there are people who loose themselves in their emotions – drowning in their emotions or wallowing in their sorrows or worries. These people are immersed in their emotions and are unable to ‘see’ them clearly and as a result become overwhelmed by the emotions they experience. They have little perspective on the emotions they feel as and a result have little control over their emotional life and live at the mercy of their own emotions feeling they can do nothing to improve their situation.

And then we have those people who are aware of how they feel but do nothing to change them. Some people believe that they should experience all emotions as they arise as this is natural – but then there is a fine line here between wallowing in these emotions or really ‘feeling’ them and moving on.

And of course there are those who know they feel depressed, or sad, or angry but chose to stay with these emotions and they are ‘who I am’.

Your emotions are not who you are – they ‘tell’ us how we should feel based on past, present and future experiences however they are not always appropriate or the best option. You always have a choice – to feel bad or feel good. Simple.

Yes it’s necessary to feel bad sometimes – they make the good times good – and it’s better ‘out than in’ we are told (and I’m not talking about wind here!) – if we feel upset, angry, worried – deal with the cause of these feelings and move on – it’s a far healthier option than denying our emotions or believing you are a slave to them – you are not!

We all have times when we feel low – and that’s okay – but if these feelings drag on then perhaps you need to ask yourself if these emotions are serving you at this moment in time. Do they make you feel good – probably not – so do something about it.

Make a commitment to yourself to be more self aware – and once you start to notice your emotions – you can then go on to question whether they are appropriate (not all emotions we feel are – they can be a learned response) and if not – change them and move on.

You have a choice in life – to live a more fulfilling and happier life – or to chose to be a victim to your emotions. We all feel them – good or bad – but it’s how we ‘experience’ them and ‘deal’ with them that determines our lives. So chose well!


In Touch With Life

Walking to school with my youngest today was an inspiration. It only takes ten to fifteen minutes but in that time I get a peek into my son’s head and I love it! And he enjoys the fact that I enjoy him so we start the day on a high and I wouldn’t have it any other way. His mind is full of intrigue and curiousity and it fascinates me how he has such an expansive view on everything even death!

I dropped him off and made my way back home feeling blessed to have spent such quality time with my son and as a result I noticed how much more aware I was of the wonders and beauty all around us (granted it was a lovely spring morning which helped!). I noticed the magpie nestling in the tree; the cat warming itself in the early morning sun; the melting frost dripping lazily from the cars on the drives.

How many of us go through our days without seeing anything apart from what is inside our heads? How many of us take the time to spend a few precious moments with loved ones? How many of us experience real joy? 

Joy is all around you if you only remove your focus from your mind (worrying about the future, brooding over the past) and take a look at the outside world every now and again. Begin to see all that you can see, hear what you can hear and you can begin to feel so much better by simply appreciating what God has created.

Joy is not winning the lottery, meeting a new man, waiting until I can afford that new house, Joy is experiencing life in the moment and being in touch with reality. Joy is sharing a tender moment with a loved one. Joy is watching the miracle of a sun rise or listening the bird song in the early morning.

Joy is quite simply all around us and all it takes to feel a little joy each day is to be mindful of living in the here and now and being aware of life around you because it’s hard to feel anxious or full of worry if you really experience life right at this moment.  

So next time you feel a little blue or need a little joy in your life then begin to focus on the beauty of nature all around you; the love in your life and take simple pleasures from simply experiencing every moment as it happens. So get out and take a walk and notice all those wonderful things that perhaps you have never noticed before!

Beat The Blues The Simple Way

Depression is an illness and it a state of mind. Some sufferers prefer to believe that they are ‘depressed’ as opposed to suffering from depression, Those that constantly refer to themselves as ‘depressed’ are far less likely to overcome their illness, largely due to the fact that they have allowed their illness to define them, now be a part of them that can be released and believe you me there is a difference.

If you suffer from depression and would like nothing better than to wallow in the depths of despair, claiming ‘there is nothing I can do it’s just who I am’ then feel free to carry on however if you want to feel better and begin to enjoy life again then you can!

Depression is a state of mind which can be ‘managed’ somewhat with antidepressants however that isn’t really living is it? If depression is a state of mind then does it not make sense that you can change your ‘state of mind’ to improve how you feel? Of course you can!

The first step to any recovery is admitting that you have a problem. Once you do this then the next step can be considerably easier as most of us don’t like to admit we have a ‘problem’ especially a mental health one.

One of the simplest and most effective ways to overcome depression is to make a commitment to yourself to do something each day that you enjoy AND if preferable, that takes you out of the house, even if it is just a walk to the corner shop! Keep your targets small to begin with if confidence is an issue and literally if that means a walk round the block or to the end of the road then great because at least you have made the first step on the road to recovery! And CONGRATULATE YOURSELF FOR THIS!

A walk is a wonderful way to get out of the house and feel better. When you are out enjoy the walk! Notice what you can see, hear all the sounds that you can hear and perhaps even notice what you can smell – perhaps the flowers are in bloom or rain is on the way – but open up your senses and really live in the moment and appreciate every second of the walk.

By focusing on your external environment you are leaving behind those negative thoughts for a while by bringing your attention around to something else and the more you do this, the better you will begin to feel. Living in the moment, appreciating your surrounding, taking time to really taste and savour your food slowly, or simply watching the rain falling can all help you shift up a gear.

Mindfullness or living in the moment, as it is also known is a powerful way to help raise our vibration – by focusing on the beauty around us we are no longer focusing on the pain or negativity inside. If you struggle to get out then start by doing something inside the house (other than watching TV as this is NOT living in the moment!). Spend time focusing on a task or do something you enjoy like painting, singing or dancing – anything that makes you feel better and takes your mind off your thoughts.

If you make a commitment to yourself to so something that you enjoy doing for 10 – 15 minutes each day you will begin to notice a difference after a week and as your confidence grows then increase this time and push yourself too. If you find it hard leaving the house then walk round the garden each day but push yourself a little further each day and remember always to congratulate yourself on what you have accomplished!

Depression exists because we spend most of our time in our ‘heads’ going over and over negative thoughts/events/situations etc. and by taking time to focus on what you enjoy each day you are leaving behind your negative thought patterns and taking time to enjoy life ‘on the outside’.

If you need more help or support then try hypnotherapy, EFT or NLP and remember, there is always a choice and it is your choice whether you chose to stay with your depression or whether you wish to move on.