The Light in You

I recently read an article where the author discussed ways to let go of negativity and anger and I have to say I loved one of her suggestions, quite simply due to its simplicity yet unassuming power.

The suggestion was to repeat a simple prayer/statement when we see or meet other people, whether we know them or not and regardless of how we feel about them. And to use it with yourself too – to lessen that negative voice in our heads! The prayer is:

I only see the light in you.

Simple. Powerful. Transformational.

All too often we can become bogged down in ‘they did this’, ‘they did that’ mentality and we become trapped in a whirlwind of negative thoughts and feelings as a result, which can lead us to say and do things that perhaps, in retrospect, we wished we hadn’t done.

When we begin to see the good in people and focus on their light, we begin to not only think about these people differently, but behave in a more positive manner towards them too. Remember that, just because someone may be rude to us, we do not have to be rude in return. Instead, we can begin to look beyond their rudeness to the person underneath – to their real self. After all, who hasn’t had a bad day?

This prayer does not just relate to those ‘out there’ but to ourselves too. When we begin to focus on what we got right, the things we do well, our strengths and how amazing we are and can be – we also begin to feel very differently about ourselves too. We begin to feel more loving, accepting and respectful of the wonderful individual that we are.

When we see the light in ourselves and others, it lifts our mood, enhances better relationships and can help transform our negative approach to everyday life. It also makes you more appreciative of the people in your life too. After all, when we act more compassionately towards others, they in turn can act more compassionately towards us.

I know some days it is hard to like some people and that’s okay but to move beyond our rigid thoughts on who we believe them to be (bad) to who they could be (good) allows us to let go of the negative drivel that takes over our minds and consumes our precious time and energy.

There are days when I felt peeved, to say the least, with others and lashed out saying things that were completely inappropriate and yes, whilst I’m being honest here,  judgemental too. But who am I to judge? Do I honestly know everyone and their lives? Do I perceive myself as better than others? No.

And when we begin to see the light in others – they begin to shine brighter and so do we and that has to be a good thing, don’t you think?

So after a recent  ‘episode’ I stumbled across this prayer and thought – why not give it a go? And now when I think on my kids, family, friends, colleagues and people that I don’t particularly like, I silently say this prayer. I say it whenever I remember to and now have added it to my vision board as a reminder.

Have I noticed a difference? Yes! I feel more loving towards my kids and family, grateful for my friends and more appreciative of myself too.  I am more willing to help others, especially my kids and am less judgemental. I am less easy to rise to an unkind word or bad behaviour and am more able to see another side to everyone – even those that at one time I thought I couldn’t. And more importantly, I am more grateful for those in my life and as a result, happier too.

Most people are not ‘bad’ people and are certainly not bad 100% of the time, so give people a chance. Focus on what you want to see in them and you will begin to see it more and more. What you focus on in life, you attract into your life, so shine a light on others and allow your light to shine bright!

                            The light in me salutes the light in you.

 

 

Take A Deep Breath….

……and count to 10.

Great advice if you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated or if you feel that you are going to say something you might just regret in the heat of the moment.

Focusing your mind of something other than the ‘thing’ that you don’t want to focus on (anxiety, depression, anger) etc is a great way to break the cycle of these habitual patterns.

If you suffer from anxiety – as soon as you feel the symptoms coming on – change your point of focus – immediately. Squeeze together your thumb and finger and focus on everything that you can see – in minute detail – or on what you can hear (however if all you can hear is the thumping of your own heart – then maybe this isn’t the best point of focus!). Loose yourself in another sense and not what you are experiencing in your body or your mind.

Yes it will be difficult to begin with – your mind and body are used to being hijacked by your anxiety – but PERSEVERE. Soon your mind will associate your squeezing your thumb and finger together with changing your point of focus.

Why change your point of focus? Simple. If you are listening intently to every sound that you can hear – it’s impossible to focus on those horrible feelings you feel in your body! Its a simple way to not only feel better, but to improve your senses and also to take back control of your anxiety.

It you don’t try it – you will never know! Go on give it a go – it’s amazing what a simple thing such as changing focus can do!

If you ‘forget’ to focus on those feelings then how can you feel anxious? You cant! So as soon as you feel those feelings arising – focus, focus, focus! Persevere too – it is worth it!

 

So What Do You See?

It never ceases to amaze me how many people can tell you exactly what they do not want in life yet when you ask them what they want instead, they become quiet and in some cases, somewhat put out that you asked!

What you want in life is important isn’t it? If you want to be happy then it’s important to know what makes you happy so that you can be happy isn’t it? It’s important to focus on reaching your ideal weight if you are overweight yet very few people do.

How many people have you heard bemoan their excess weight or not being able to find nice clothes in their size or indeed clothes to fit them or how they just ‘lurve’ food (which technically they don’t as they barely if at all taste it because they eat too fast)?

When was the last time you heard someone say ‘I chose to be slim and healthy’ or ‘I will reach my goal weight easily and effortlessly’? Very rarely I can imagine.

What you focus on in life you get in life. If you focus on being fat then guess what? You will be fat! However if you stop moaning and start focusing on what you want – to reach your ideal weight and shape and look slim and sensational – then guess what? You are more than likely going to reach your ideal weight! And besides doesn’t it feel so much better to focus on how wonderful you are going to feel and look instead of focusing on something that makes you miserable?

Common sense prevails here. Focus on what you want and you are more likely to get what you want. Also focusing on what you want is a strong motivator especially if you imagine you ourself having the thing that you want! It makes you feel so much more positive and the more positive you feel the more likely you are to attract positive things (those things that you want) into your life

By focusing on what you want you are also employing the powerful Law of Attraction and like any natural law, such as the Law of Gravity, The Law of Attraction is in operation 24/7. So use it and get what you want in life and all you have to do if stay focused on what you want!

So next time you find yourself focusing on what you don’t want instantly change your point of focus to what you do want and be specific and state it in the positive. Do not say ‘I want to lose weight’ as you are STILL focusing on the weight! Simply state something like ‘I will reach my ideal weight of XX by XXDate and I will be slim and healthy’ or ‘I easily maintain my ideal weight’.

So focus on what you want in life and focus on the positive things too and pretty soon you will notice a shift. So remember……..

Focus. Focus. Focus. Persevere. Persevere. Persevere.

Coasting Along

The Law of Attraction (LoA) is a hot topic most of the time and more so when you bring in the aspect of quantum physics too.

The LoA states that what we focus on in life we will bring into our lives. ‘Like’ energy attracts ‘like’ energy. Everything in the Universe is made up of energy and this energy vibrates at a certain frequency. Generally the more positive you are the higher the frequency. If you are a positive person you technically will attract ‘like’ energy to you i.e. positive things that vibrate with the same high frequency and vice versa. If you are a negative person and focus on bad things then no surprise you are more likely to encounter them.

Sometimes this energy is almost palpable. Have you felt ‘weighed down’ when you are with someone who is negative or depressed? Funny isn’t it? And how when you are with someone who is upbeat and happy you lighter somehow and feel better too?

But the one thing that many people do not do and this is why they struggle with getting what they want in life, is focus on what they actually want! A simple thing, yet unbelievably not many people seem to get the concept between what you focus on and what you have in your life.

Due to my profession, I know the importance of focusing on what you want in life and wrongly assume that most people do, yet I am always amazed when clients, family or friends tell me in oh! so many words what they don’t want in their lives but when asked what do they want instead, look at me rather blankly, as if I have lost the plot!

If all you see is the brick wall in front of you then that’s all you will ever see however if you ‘see’ or imagine a beautiful garden, with billowing trees and flowers bursting with colour and the sweet scent of summer, then you begin to create a new picture – a new life instead.

When I find myself in a negative spiral I know it’s down to me to change my point of focus and generally I do (and yes there are days when it’s hard and I really cant be bothered but that is also my choice!!!) If I chose to focus on all the bad things my kids do then I will see only the bad things they do however if I chose to look for all the good – I will see those instead. So next time the kids are driving you mad – tell yourself to focus on and reward only positive behaviour, as that in turn will promote a more positive focus for your children too.

So look for the positive in everything and you may find that people begin to see the positive in you. Focus on what you want in life and you may begin to notice things begin to come right for you.  Those things that you really want begin to show up in the most unusual of ways!

I have recently bought a new unit for my conservatory and as it’s wood I have had it in my mind to buy some coasters to prevent staining or damage. Buying these coasters has been on my mind a few times during this last week and due to one thing or another I hadn’t got round to buying any.

This morning there was the usual junk mail mixed in with mine, along with a letter from a charity I donate to. I looked at it and as about to put it in the bin believing that it would be another begging letter asking me to increase my donation, however something stopped me. I opened up the envelope and there inside were too beautiful coasters!!! I had to smile and say thank you to the Universe! Seriously what are the odds of receiving coasters in the post and at the right time when I wanted them?

So if you want something (my next item is an old classic Saab convertible preferably red) make sure you focus on it. Imagine you already have it in your life and let the Universe know exactly what you want and be open to receiving it. Remember though to always say thanks!

The Power Of Belief

When I talk about belief I am not necessarily talking about religious beliefs although they are linked into belief systems too, however I am talking specifically about personal beliefs. Those beliefs that we hold steady about ourselves, sometimes without even being aware that we have them let alone the impact they have on our everyday life!

We all hold beliefs about ourselves and the world. Some believe that the world is a scary place or that they are great singers (even if that is far from the truth – I am sure some of you watch The X Factor!).

Beliefs are statements that we believe to be true about us and the world and we accept them without question. Major beliefs will affect every area of our lives and if you have limiting or negative beliefs about yourself, the impact will be negative.

Imagine if you believed that you were good enough, you would probably achieve so much more than someone who thought they were useless. If you were good enough  you would go for that promotion, chat that great looking guy up or take on that exciting new project because you believe that you can do it.

On the other hand imagine if you felt you were useless. Well there’s no point going for that interview because you know you won’t get it so why bother even trying and as for that great looking guy, he is way out of your league! What you believe about yourself WILL impact on how you perform on a daily basis.

So if you would rather believe that you were good enough as opposed to useless then get working on changing your limiting beliefs and believe you me (pardon the pun!) it’s easier than you think! All you  need is a little time and commitment.

(For more impact do this exercise on paper!)

1. Firstly ask yourself in what ways is this limiting belief wrong? Are you really not good enough 100% of the time?

2. Then ask yourself in what way this belief is negatively impacting on your life – cover every area of your life from personal to work to financial to relationships etc. Write these down and list as many as you can.

3. Next ask how much better would your life be if you didn’t believe this belief? List all the positive ways you life would improve. Also think of a new empowering belief that you would like instead of the old one. This must be stated in the positive i.e. ‘I am good enough’ and NOT ‘I no longer believe that I am not good enough’.

4. Once complete, focus on all the pain and suffering this old belief is causing in your life and really get a sense of how it’s impacting on how you feel, how you behave and how it affects your life. Really feel the pain that this belief is causing you. Spend about 15-20 seconds doing this.

5. Then think about your future without this belief. Think about how you will feel when you don’t believe this belief anymore and when you believe the new empowering belief that ‘I am good enough’. Notice how you will feel, look, talk, behave and really get a strong feeling of how great you feel and focus on the pleasure you feel believing this new belief. This is your daydream so make is as compelling as you could possibly ever make it! Imagine how fantastic it will be believing that you are good enough. See how your life will improve, how differently you behave. Spend as long as you like doing this but do it for at least one minute.

6.  Also continually re-affirm that you are good enough throughout the day by using positive affirmation.  Do this atleast 10 times each morning and evening and when ever you can remember during the day. The more you do the quicker the result!

7. Do this exercise daily for a month (this is the commitment!) and you will be amazed at how much better you feel!

Why does this exercise work? Well your unconscious mind is the seat of your behaviours, habits and beliefs and over time it has accepted, rightly or wrongly many beliefs about you, so bearing this in mind, it can accept a new belief too.

Secondly your unconscious mind works on the principle of more pleasure less pain so it will automatically take you from a painful situation to a pleasurable one instead (however you need to tell it what you want instead!!). It’s role is to bring as much pleasure into your life so by focusing on the new empowering belief and really FEELING how great it would be to believe that you are good enough, it receives a very clear instruction to change your belief system to one which is more positive and supportive to you now.

Thirdly, your unconscious mind is literal and accepts what you tell it. Unfortunately you will previously have been telling yourself that you aren’t good enough so your mind has responded accordingly! So now you need to tell yourself what you want to be or achieve – so focus on this new belief and anytime you think about the old belief, stop and change it to ‘I am good enough’. After time your unconscious mind willaccept this new belief as fact, no questions asked!!!

So this leads us to the fourth point. Repetition. Our mind learns through repetition so seeing yourself as good enough, feeling good enough and telling yourself you are good enough over and over again, will reinforce this new belief at the unconscious level of your mind where it will be accepted and acted upon. So repeat, repeat, repeat!!

It usually takes between 21-30 days to create a new habit or belief consciously however hypnosis can shorten that time dramatically as it communicates directly with your unconscious mind. So if you struggle changing habits and behaviours or lack the commitment to do this then what not see a hypnotherapist who can help you change your life!

Remember what you focus on in life you will get so focus on what you want. Your mind responds to the images and thoughts you create so make sure they are the ones you want, in order to create the life of your dreams!

Good Luck!

It’s Time For BED

Belief, Expectation and Desire are the three most important ingredients to personal change and each one plays a valuable role in your future outcomes.

Belief is one of the most powerful tools available to any human being today, whether that be you, a doctor, a cancer patient, someone wanting to lose weight or an individual who wants to kick the drink habit. Belief has been well documented in it’s amazing powers of healing, it’s also helped top athletes reach for the skies and it can help you to overcome obstacles in your life and be the best you can.

So what is belief? Well a belief is simply knowing that something is true and if you think about it, you either believe in something or you don’t. You either believe in God or you don’t. A belief is something that you believe 100%. Beliefs run who we are at an unconscious level and unfortunately many of us go through life with no idea that our beliefs about ourself and the world we live in dictate pretty much how we live our life.

If you were brought up being told that the world was a scary place then you are more than likely going to grow up in a scary world, avoiding certain places, people and situations whilst an individual who was taught that the world is a wonderful place is far more likely to get more out of life and explore more opportunities because they feel safer and more open to the beauty of the world they live in.

So your beliefs shape who you are and how you feel however beliefs are not rigid and can be changed (forget all that nonsense about a leopard never changing it’s spots!). Most if not all of us were brought up believing in Father Christmas and no-one could convince us he wasn’t real at some point but now? Well come on! So beliefs can be changed.

However if you want to believe in yourself more or be the employee of the month, then you need to know that there is a possibility that you could succeed, because if there is no chance of changing or getting that award, then why bother trying in the first place? So Expectation is also crucial to success. Believing that you can succeed is one thing but expecting to win is another. Why?

Well if you know that you are a valuable member of the team at work and constantly hit your personal targets then you probably will expect to win employee of the month at some point wouldn’t you? And expecting to win is great because that will motivate you to succeed right? However expectation can also create problems if unrealistic targets are set.

If you believe that weight loss hypnosis will work for you (belief) and you expect to reach your ideal weight then you probably will, however if you expect to lose 3kg in one week then you may be in for a downfall. Expectation is certainly a motivating factor in achieving results but set them too high or be too unrealistic and you have a greater change of failure which could have a knock on (the Six Nations is on at the moment!) effect on your belief in your ability to succeed.

Which leaves us with desire. If you want to lose weight and you believe you can but hey, I’m quite comfortable with who I am at the moment, then there’s not much change that you will lose weight is there? Because in order to achieve you need to want it! You need to be able to almost touch it, hear it, taste and smell sweet success in order to produce that drive, that determination to succeed.

Desire is powerful and not just the physical or sexual desire either! If you want to succeed, you want to be the best in the field, then you are going to give your all in order to get there. Desire has kept many people alive in what seems to be hopeless situations, the sheer desire to see loved ones again, even when the expectation of survival is low, has a phenomenal impact on motivation and desire can overcome so many physical, psychological and emotional barriers.

So you have always wanted to be a doctor, ever since you mended your doll’s leg when you were five (desire) and you have managed to get to medical school with hard work and determination because you believed that you could do it and now you expect to be one of the the leading surgeons in the country (you can almost feel the motivation, determination and drive to succeed already cant you?) well guess what? You have more probability of succeeding than someone who has higher grades than you have but only went to medical school to please their parents and to be honest, isn’t sure if they are really good enough to become a doctor anyway!

A powerful way to increase your belief, expectation and desire is to practice regular visualization. Seeing yourself successful, visualizing yourself winning, getting a feel for how great you are going to feel is an incredibly powerful way to increase desire, build beliefs and raise expectations.

So if you want to improve, succeed, accomplish or just lose weight then remember – get to BED! Or rather build Belief, Expectation and Desire and get visualizing today.