The Butterfly Hug

The Butterfly Hug is an incredible and powerful way to let go of intense negative feelings. The method itself is simple and easy to do yourself depending on the severity of your condition or memory that you wish to work on.

Watch this video now and try out this effective tool yourself.

 

Take care

Mairead

Advertisements

Faster Than Before

I am a fully qualified Hypnotherapist, NLP Practitioner, EFT Practitioner, Reiki Master, Time Line Therapist, Anger Management and Weight Management Consultant and Meditation Teacher amongst other things…..phew!

I use most of what I have learnt during my sessions with clients and there are one or two things that I find work well and which I enjoy using  myself too. Visualization is incredibly powerful and can lift your mood as well as transform your future. But what about letting go of the proverbial crap from your past?

I stumbled on Faster EFT recently – the ‘baby’ of Robert Smith (no not that Robert Smith…). I love EFT as I find it calming, soothing and incredibly quick at letting go of hurts and trauma from the past, however this Faster EFT not only works just as effectively as EFT, it is also quicker and easier to use. And what I like the most is, its a tool which my clients can utilise away from therapy too. Win;Win all round!

The process is simple to follow and works quickly on releasing ‘trapped’ emotions from the past and if you don’t think you carry around trapped emotions, think of a memory which was particularly upsetting to you at the time or frightening and notice how you can still feel those old feelings.

Basically you focus on a ‘bad’ memory, and the feelings it brings up in you whilst tapping certain acupressure points on your face and collar bone and that’s it! Simple. Effective and quick. I like it and it works well with my clients too!

I use Faster EFT myself, especially after a bad day or if I have any unexplained aches and pains – its awesome! So if you are struggling to let go of the past or any limiting beliefs, give this amazing tool a go. Visit my website to access a free copy of how to do Faster EFT or have a look on YouTube – there are plenty of videos on there which you can tap along to!

Have a peek at the free Faster EFT script courtesy of Robert Smith – and have a go. You have everything to gain and nothing what so ever to lose!

Take A Deep Breath….

……and count to 10.

Great advice if you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated or if you feel that you are going to say something you might just regret in the heat of the moment.

Focusing your mind of something other than the ‘thing’ that you don’t want to focus on (anxiety, depression, anger) etc is a great way to break the cycle of these habitual patterns.

If you suffer from anxiety – as soon as you feel the symptoms coming on – change your point of focus – immediately. Squeeze together your thumb and finger and focus on everything that you can see – in minute detail – or on what you can hear (however if all you can hear is the thumping of your own heart – then maybe this isn’t the best point of focus!). Loose yourself in another sense and not what you are experiencing in your body or your mind.

Yes it will be difficult to begin with – your mind and body are used to being hijacked by your anxiety – but PERSEVERE. Soon your mind will associate your squeezing your thumb and finger together with changing your point of focus.

Why change your point of focus? Simple. If you are listening intently to every sound that you can hear – it’s impossible to focus on those horrible feelings you feel in your body! Its a simple way to not only feel better, but to improve your senses and also to take back control of your anxiety.

It you don’t try it – you will never know! Go on give it a go – it’s amazing what a simple thing such as changing focus can do!

If you ‘forget’ to focus on those feelings then how can you feel anxious? You cant! So as soon as you feel those feelings arising – focus, focus, focus! Persevere too – it is worth it!

 

Second That Emotion

All of us (though some are exempt from this) have been or still are hostage to our emotions, with many people not even being aware of how they feel from one moment to the other.

However being aware of how you are feeling and the thoughts you have – can help you gain some control over wayward emotions such as anger, angst, sadness or anxiety. Basically the more ‘self aware’ you become the more able you are to control your emotions.

Being self aware simply means being aware of our thoughts and feelings which in turn gives us the opportunity to be ‘aware’ of them without becoming emotionally attached to them and when we become the ‘observer’ of our emotions we can choose whether we wish to change how we feel or wallow in our emotions.

For example, how many of us have been cut up on the road at some point by what would appear to be a ‘thoughtless’ driver? Most of us no doubt! But self awareness allows us to see that our angry response to this incident is ours – maybe our outburst (expletives!) are called for but maybe they weren’t – maybe the guy just didn’t see you?

So yes we got angry – but being aware that you are angry in the first place is great but being aware that our response to this incident is also our choice – means we gain control over how we feel – or for how long we feel these emotions, because lets face it – feeling bad sucks!

Self awareness allows us to remain calm in stressful situations, helps us to chose a more beneficial or positive state of mind and as a result we feel more balanced and positive. We become the ‘observer’ of our emotions – ‘I am feeling angry/sad/overwhelmed etc – which enables us to distance ourselves from those negative emotions and then gives us leverage to change them into a more positive one, if we want to! So if we find ourselves in a bad mood we can get ourselves out of it more quickly than other people who are less aware of their emotions.

On the flip side there are people who loose themselves in their emotions – drowning in their emotions or wallowing in their sorrows or worries. These people are immersed in their emotions and are unable to ‘see’ them clearly and as a result become overwhelmed by the emotions they experience. They have little perspective on the emotions they feel as and a result have little control over their emotional life and live at the mercy of their own emotions feeling they can do nothing to improve their situation.

And then we have those people who are aware of how they feel but do nothing to change them. Some people believe that they should experience all emotions as they arise as this is natural – but then there is a fine line here between wallowing in these emotions or really ‘feeling’ them and moving on.

And of course there are those who know they feel depressed, or sad, or angry but chose to stay with these emotions and they are ‘who I am’.

Your emotions are not who you are – they ‘tell’ us how we should feel based on past, present and future experiences however they are not always appropriate or the best option. You always have a choice – to feel bad or feel good. Simple.

Yes it’s necessary to feel bad sometimes – they make the good times good – and it’s better ‘out than in’ we are told (and I’m not talking about wind here!) – if we feel upset, angry, worried – deal with the cause of these feelings and move on – it’s a far healthier option than denying our emotions or believing you are a slave to them – you are not!

We all have times when we feel low – and that’s okay – but if these feelings drag on then perhaps you need to ask yourself if these emotions are serving you at this moment in time. Do they make you feel good – probably not – so do something about it.

Make a commitment to yourself to be more self aware – and once you start to notice your emotions – you can then go on to question whether they are appropriate (not all emotions we feel are – they can be a learned response) and if not – change them and move on.

You have a choice in life – to live a more fulfilling and happier life – or to chose to be a victim to your emotions. We all feel them – good or bad – but it’s how we ‘experience’ them and ‘deal’ with them that determines our lives. So chose well!

Remember a time…….

…a specific time when you felt great about yourself, when you achieved something or when you just felt so relaxed or great to be alive. And as you remember that time now I want you to really get a sense of being right back in that moment right now…..perhaps close your eyes and see the memory now.

See it as though you were right back in that moment now, as though you were looking through your eyes and really see everything that you could see at that time. Hear what you could hear – perhaps people talking – and really get a sense of how great you felt at that time.

And you may be surprised at how good you are beginning to feel as your mind re-associates into those feelings at that time. Now make that image bigger, brighter, perhaps make the sounds crisper and notice how the feelings become stronger and stronger.

Keep focusing on everything that was going on at that time and feel all those feel good feelings flooding through your body again and doesn’t it feel good to know that you can feel this good when ever you want to?

How? By simply focusing on happy memories or positive things in our lives – such as gratitude – you can begin to feel a lot more positive and a whole heap happier.

If you suffer from depression or anxiety you have a tendency to focus on the ‘bad’ things or those things that make us feel anxious. You go through old hurts over and over again replaying them over and over again in your mind however, unlike a movie reel which will wear out over time, these memories seem to get stronger and more powerful the more you play them.

Sometimes these memories become distorted in some way so that they appear worse than what they actually were and all the time our mind is remembering and reliving these ‘bad’ memories your body is re-experiencing all those old ‘bad’ feelings.

Your cells become accustomed to certain feelings (depression, anxiety, anger) and you stay trapped in a cycle of bad feelings, as your body begins to ‘crave’ those ‘bad’ feelings because it’s all it knows so you continue to focus on those old memories and those negative feelings. Then you get given a label. Depressive. OCD. Frustrated.

If you want to beat depression, anxiety, anger, sadness, worthlessness or any other negative emotion then it’s time to change the movies you run in your mind. However before you do that you need to become aware of them first!

So take a few day to ‘listen in’ to your thoughts, and discover what things you dwell on – and write them down. You will be amazed at how a pattern seems to form. Once you become aware of what you focus on, then make a commitment to yourself that you are going to change. Write this down to and state it in the positive.

So if you want to let go of depression and feel happier then make a commitment to yourself to focus on the happy things in life and always see the good in any situation. If you want to be less angry, then make a commitment to stay calm in every situation and to speak calmly and politely to everyone.

Once you have made that commitment, for the next 30 days you need to change the movies in your mind or those negative thoughts to ones that are more supportive of your new outlook.

So as soon as you find yourself dwelling on that memory of you feeling sad, say CANCEL in your mind and bring in a new happy memory (and yes you will have them you have just chosen to forget them!) and focus on this memory for about 15-20 seconds. Each and every time you have a negative thought say CANCEL in your mind and change to positive supportive thoughts such as ‘I am happy’, ‘I am in control’ etc.

Write a reminder of what you are doing somewhere visible so that you are reminded everyday what you are doing. Use post it notes and stick them on mirrors, cupboard doors etc to remind you to change those old movies or thoughts to new, positive and supporting ones.

Yes some days will feel like an up hill struggle and that’s okay. Persevere. Because it’s natural to come up with some resistance when you are making changes to your life. So know that it’s natural to ‘fight’ these new changes and keep on going!

You can change how you feel and depression, anxiety, anger, low self esteem and all those horrible feelings are all run on automatic. Your thoughts run who you are so make a commitment to change how you feel and change your thoughts.

However in order to succeed there are three words of advice for you.

Persevere. Persevere. Persevere.

 

 

 

The Butterfly Hug

Recently I have mentioned the Butterfly Hug which is a really simple yet powerful way to release negative emotions such as grief, anxiety, depression and trauma and this is an excellent tool to help kids who suffer from anxiety due to Aspergers, Autism, ADHD etc as it’s something they can use themselves easily once taught.

In Touch With Life

Walking to school with my youngest today was an inspiration. It only takes ten to fifteen minutes but in that time I get a peek into my son’s head and I love it! And he enjoys the fact that I enjoy him so we start the day on a high and I wouldn’t have it any other way. His mind is full of intrigue and curiousity and it fascinates me how he has such an expansive view on everything even death!

I dropped him off and made my way back home feeling blessed to have spent such quality time with my son and as a result I noticed how much more aware I was of the wonders and beauty all around us (granted it was a lovely spring morning which helped!). I noticed the magpie nestling in the tree; the cat warming itself in the early morning sun; the melting frost dripping lazily from the cars on the drives.

How many of us go through our days without seeing anything apart from what is inside our heads? How many of us take the time to spend a few precious moments with loved ones? How many of us experience real joy? 

Joy is all around you if you only remove your focus from your mind (worrying about the future, brooding over the past) and take a look at the outside world every now and again. Begin to see all that you can see, hear what you can hear and you can begin to feel so much better by simply appreciating what God has created.

Joy is not winning the lottery, meeting a new man, waiting until I can afford that new house, Joy is experiencing life in the moment and being in touch with reality. Joy is sharing a tender moment with a loved one. Joy is watching the miracle of a sun rise or listening the bird song in the early morning.

Joy is quite simply all around us and all it takes to feel a little joy each day is to be mindful of living in the here and now and being aware of life around you because it’s hard to feel anxious or full of worry if you really experience life right at this moment.  

So next time you feel a little blue or need a little joy in your life then begin to focus on the beauty of nature all around you; the love in your life and take simple pleasures from simply experiencing every moment as it happens. So get out and take a walk and notice all those wonderful things that perhaps you have never noticed before!