Now most people at some point in their lives feel a little anxious about something, whether it be about how they perform, how the look or what they believe to be acceptable and most anxieties are linked to what we believe about ourselves or the world.
If you dread giving presentations or speaking up in meetings it is most likely that you feel you are going to be judged unfairly. So why do many people have a fear of being judged? Why do many people avoid those social situations which many people thrive in?
Well it all comes down to your beliefs and more likely, the beliefs you hold about yourself. If you believe that you are not good enough or that you will always fail, then it’s no surprise that you feel ‘not good enough’ and act accordingly. However if you believe you are good enough, you feel differently about yourself and you behave in a very different way.
Now beliefs are formed in many different ways, usually from past experiences, but the important thing to note here is, just as beliefs get ‘learnt’ at some point in your life, they can be unlearnt too!
A belief is something we believe to be true at our deepest level and unfortunately most humans feel they are intrinsically bad or not good enough. But s this true?
Are you really bad or not good enough or is it simply that you fail to live up to others’ expectations?
I would hazard a guess that you are good enough and that you are a good person. You may occasionally say or do ‘bad’ things but does that make you a bad person? You may be awful at singing and scared rigid of presenting in front of people, but are you really not good enough?
Telling yourself you are good enough or a good person each and every day is unlikely to change your limiting belief of yourself, however bringing doubt into the equation will. Did you believe 100% in Father Christmas? Did you believe 100% that you first love was the ‘one’
When you start to hear different stories about the existence of Father Christmas or see things differently once the ‘honeymoon’ period of the romance is over, you change the way you see things and ultimately your belief system.
It is said that every breakthrough in personal development comes from a change in belief. So how can you change a limiting belief?
By simply following the seven steps below – which are widely used by therapists and individuals alike with a high percentage of success. This works so well as it allows you to begin to doubt those limiting beliefs that have held you hostage for so long. Once you doubt a belief, you can begin to unpick it and then replace it with a new empowering one instead. And it’s important to replace any limiting belief with a new positive one as the old one could creep back into your life and we certainly don’t want that do we?
Belief Change Process
Ask yourself these questions in relation to the limiting belief. It’s more powerful if you write the answers down too – it makes for a quicker belief change process.
- Is this belief or statement completely true? 100% true?
- Can you be 100% sure that it is true? All of the time? (really???)
- What does you keeping hold of this belief do to you? Does it help in any way?
- Who will you become in ten years if you continue to hold on to this belief?
- What will the costs be to you (and others) if you do not change this belief now?
- Who would you become and how differently would you think, act and feel if you let go of this old belief?
- Create a new belief to replace the old one. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Daily, hourly or whenever you doubt yourself. State your new belief with feelings. Attach positive emotions to it to make it more compelling than the old belief.
Also, for step 7 make sure you use a belief that you can believe in. If ‘I am amazing’ feels too out there then simply state ‘I am good enough (though your probably are amazing!).
And make sure you have a positive belief statement i.e. I am good enough or I am enough NOT I am not a bad person.
Take time to work through this process and really think about your answers. If you need to work through this daily until you notice a shift, then do so. Repeat your new belief when ever you can. Write it down on a card or on your mirror to remind you daily how amazing you are!