The Heart of the Matter

I am amazed at how differently the world appears when my heart is full of love. I am amazed at how differently I perceive other people when my heart if full of love. I am constantly in awe of how fantastic unconditional love truly is and the power it has to transform lives, heal emotional and physical pain and make the world a truly happier place.

Our main goal as human beings is to love – not hate. We are on this planet to help not hurt others and when we love and help people our lives suddenly become all that we want them to be. We begin to see the real beauty in everything we see around us. We can begin to see the real world that exists outside – the one which is full off amazing people, opportunities and a life full of potential.

So why do so many people turn their backs on love and choose hatred as their life-long companion? How has it become acceptable for many to hurt and not help? The pain that life presents to each and every one of us is sent to us as a way to learn, to grow – to see that the only way to truly live, to experience life – is to turn to love, unfortunately some people drown in their pain and the only life line they have is hurt, anger and bitterness.

When we let love in we lessen the pain. We lessen the hurt, the anger, the bitterness. When we let love in we begin to see that what we once saw as pain is merely our misinterpretation of events or people. When your heart is full of love you begin to understand that others may try to hurt you because they are hurt – so you become more aware of your own compassionate heart. Instead of rejecting these people you become more accepting and as a result you begin to open up their lives to love. Nothing is rarely as it seems until you let the light of love in – then you begin to see the real beauty of what lurks in the darkness. When the light of love shines, life blossoms.

So let love in to your hearts daily – it’s not always easy – but believe me it is truly magical. You begin to see that despite everything you will always be who you are at the very core of you and that who you are will always be enough. Without love you will never be enough but with love you are always enough.

Love really is all you need because when you begin to love yourself you begin to love others. You begin to see your self worth and your value in life. Abundance comes with love. Love comes with love. Success comes with love. Happiness comes with love.

So focus on love – on happy memories – on the feeling of love daily – send loving intentions to every problem you have both inside you and outside. And when you look at the world with love you begin to let go of the pain – pain is an illusion – love is real.

So open up your heart and practice loving meditations daily and transform how you feel and how the world responds to you!

The Power Of Love

As a rather logical and analytical person I love to ‘work out’ how people tick and how to make them feel better – that’s why I do the job I do.

I use the power of the mind to help people overcome phobias, panic, depression, insomnia, low self esteem as well as many other life issues and I fully understand the concept behind the use of hypnosis as a healing tool. The mind or rather the unconscious mind is a very powerful tool – it is larger and more powerful than the conscious mind (will power) and hypnosis allows us to access this amazing ‘machine’ in order to release limiting beliefs, fears, negative thinking patterns etc more or less instantly.

But where is our mind located in our body? Most of us presume our mind is located in our brain but there is no conclusive evidence to suggest this is correct and whilst our brains are phenomenally powerful – no question about that – does it house our mind?

The left side of our brain is referred to as the logical mind – this is where we analyse information we receive in order to make decisions etc. The right side of our brain is the creative part and is where the subconscious mind lies. This is the part of the brain we use when singing, dreaming, or doing anything creative such as drawing or writing.

Our brains are incredibly powerful and can bring about incredible transformations in people when stimulated directly or indirectly (NLP, Hypnosis etc) however whilst our brains have incredible power, our hearts are where the real power lies.

When we compare our mind power to that of the heart – we can see that our hearts win hands down when it comes to sheer power. The following information is from the Heathmath Centre in the States –

HEART FACTS

Research by the Institute for HeartMath in California4 has shown that the heart is the most powerful generator of electromagnetic energy in the human body:

o The heart’s electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain.

o The magnetic field produced by the heart is more than 5000 times greater in strength than the field generated by the brain

o The electromagnetic energy of the heart not only envelops every cell of the human body, but also extends out in all directions in the space around us

o Our cardiac field touches those within 8 – 10 feet of where we are positioned (and perhaps in more subtle ways at greater distances)

o One person’s heart signal can effect another’s brainwaves, and heart-brain synchronization can occur between two people when they interact

o Research conducted at the Institute of HeartMath suggests that the heart’s field is an important carrier of information

Our mental and emotional state impacts the quality of contact we offer to another person. When we touch one another with safe, respectful, loving intention both physically and emotionally, we call into play the full healing power of the heart.

So when we consider all of the above information and take into consideration that our heart has the power to impact every cell in our body as well as influence how other people feel – why do we not use this powerful source of loving energy to transform how we feel and the world we live in?

Love is the most powerful emotion which can bring healing to our bodies and minds. By focusing on the power of love (calling to mind loving memories or the feeling of love) we can not only change how we feel immediately, we can begin to change how we feel long term too. Love can help you transform limiting beliefs, improve health and fitness, help heal wounds in relationships as well as helping you to lose weight!

The heart has more power than your brain and can influence every cell (including your brain cells) in your body. So if you want to feel happier – focus on loving thoughts whilst repeating ‘I feel happier and happier’ or if you want to curb those cravings, call to mind some loving feelings (from a memory or bring to mind someone you love very much) and they repeat in your mind ‘I am in control of my eating. I enjoy eating healthily’.

I use loving meditation all the time to change how I feel, to bring more peace into my mind and relationships, as well as transforming limiting beliefs into supporting positive ones.

So next time you come up against a problem in your life, take five minutes to sit down and bring to mind some loving memories or feelings and as you do focus on a solution to your problem. I recently wanted to change how I felt about someone I was meeting (I wasn’t particularly sure of how I felt about them) as I felt my reservations may impact negatively on our meeting. So I sat down for five minutes focused on some happy memories and then focused on the person I was due to meet whilst sending loving thoughts to them.

When I opened my eyes I felt more positive about this person and this was reflected when we met. As I shook there hand I felt a genuine warmth for them which created a more conducive atmosphere for a successful meeting.

Love really is all you need to change your world and I will be posting a video some time this week on how to transform your limiting beliefs with loving thoughts. So watch this space!

Spread the Love!

The Man In The Middle

Have you ever come across one of those people who fail to see that the Universe does not evolve around them? And let’s face it – sometimes we can all get lost in the ‘poor little me’ routine – which is okay – as long as you are aware of it!

We all make sense of our world based on our own beliefs, conditioning and experiences of our past and these overlay all our experiences in the here and now. So when a friend of yours lets you down – one friend may well presume that she’s got a lot on or is busy with something else because they believe that she wouldn’t let them down on purpose.

Another friend on the other hand instantly thinks ‘Charming! She couldn’t care less about me – cancelling our night out like that!’ Now which friend would feel more empowered and positive? Which frame of reference leaves the individual in control of their life as opposed to playing out the victim role in everyone else’s life?

Exactly! The individual who understands and can appreciate that everyone has their own life, thoughts, opinions, feelings etc and so considers this when giving ‘meaning’ to events in their life – so no surprises they will feel much happier and positive as they can see that not everything that happens to them is about them!

However the individual who puts themselves at the centre of the Universe unwittingly puts themselves at the centre of everybody else’s world too. So if someone lets them down – it’s about them. If someone is rude to them – its about them. If someone doesn’t jump when they say jump – it’s all about them too.

So no wonder they feel upset, rejected and down right miserable! They have made everything that everybody does about them! They could if they wanted – chose a different ‘meaning’ from the one they automatically chose (why me?) and not only will they feel better but there outlook on life will be more rosy too!

So next time your friend let’s you down – try and see things from your friends perspective – maybe they are having a bad time/busy with family/feeling tired etc – don’t always jump in with your size 11’s and shout ‘Why always me?’ because you will always get an answer but not the best one! And will lose your friends quicker that you will drop a hot potato.

So if you are the proverbial Man in the Middle you will always be the supporting actor in your life – so take the Lead role, change perspective and realize that there are billions of other people out there in the Big (not so bad) World!

Feel Good Or Bad – Your Choice

I am in the process of getting a program together to help people realize their true potential – to enable people to see how awesome they truly are – and it’s been an exciting project so far.

I have become more and more aware, due to the nature of my job and life itself, that we chose the life we want – that’s right – we chose the life we want! Every second of the day we make life choices which not only affect how we feel from moment to moment, but also our future too,

All to many people focus on the bad things in life and fail to see the abundance of beauty that surrounds them every single second of every single day – and why? Because they have chosen to be ‘miserable’ – it has become a habit for them. They feel ‘safe’ being miserable and it becomes comfortable – just like an old comfy sweater – worn out and holey! They resent happy people and go out of their way to hurt others – because in some way – it makes them feel better temporarily.

And when you ask said people how they are – they will no doubt moan and groan about this and that and when you ask them if they are happy in their life – amazingly they will say yes!! And why? Because we all strive to be happy – but how we go about that may not be working!

We chose our moods – no one else choses them for us – how can they? Seriously? No-one can get inside your head except you and I mean no-one. You chose whether you get upset about the mindless comment made by a colleague – you chose to get upset. It has absolutely nothing to do with what anyone says – it is about whether you wish to ‘accept’ what your colleague has said and get upset or whether you chose to ignore it or deal with it.

Surely you know that what people say (about you) is about them and where they are at – and has absolutely nothing to do with you? Yes, your boss can give you some feedback – and you can take it as just that – feedback – a way to improve your performance. Or you could take it as a personal sleight and spend days and weeks brooding. Again – your choice.

When we begin to realize that everything about our life is a choice – it makes it all the more easier to change it! Think about it – if you react to everyone in your life, to what people say or do – you are handing others control over your life.

However if  you acknowledge what is happening in your life and chose whether or not to react (and again it’s a choice whether your react positively or negatively here too!) you maintain control over your life and believe me – it feels incredible!

If you chose anger – then expect anger in return. If you chose hate then expect hate in return. If you chose victim then expect to be abused. But if you chose love you get love in return. If you chose tolerance you will receive tolerance and if you chose fun – how much better will your life be?

So stop blaming others for the way you feel and for once in your life – make a commitment to change your life for the better by acknowledging your personal power. You have so much personal power which lies dormant – wake it up, shake it out and chose a better life!!

After all it literally is your choice.

Stop! Pattern – Pattern Interupt

Break any habit or negative thought pattern easily with this simple NLP technique! Re-write your thoughts and habits and change how you think, feel and act yourself. Perseverance is key here however the more you do this the more positive your life will become! Good luck.

The Sun is Shining…..

………However not for everyone this morning it seems!

A typical fraught Monday morning in our house and just about out on time for school, with my eldest choosing to walk behind in a sulk (he had to get his books ready for school much to his disgust!) A lovely morning with the sun shining and a biting wind – it looks like spring even if it feels like winter.

Coming to a road, we waited to cross however the woman in the car stopped and waved us across, so we smiled and showed our appreciation. My son commented on how nice it was that ‘that lady’ let us cross and I agreed.

Coming to another side road my son was about to cross when I told him to wait. He wrongly presumed that because the other woman had stopped and let us cross that this person would too! She didn’t, in fact I had a sneaky suspicion that if she could have mounted the pavement she would have, so vexed her face appeared.

I warned my son that he should always stop and wait to cross the road and to NEVER assume that people would stop. So should I have waved on the kind woman previously and not crossed or should I hope that my son has the common sense to see that not everyone is necessarily kind or thoughtful enough to let you cross?

He has to learn for himself! We all have good and bad days however it’s a choice how we respond to people or situations so ultimately it is our choice whether we have a good or bad day too! I chose to get upset with my son this morning – my choice. I chose to change my grumpy mood and ‘lighten’ up, just as the kind woman chose to stop and let us cross.

It’s not other people’s fault when I’m in a bad mood is it? Likewise I shouldn’t have to depend on others ‘making my day’ either. We are responsible for what goes on in our heads and the thoughts we think so that means that we are ultimately responsible for how we feel and interact with others.

So next time you find yourself giving off to about the car in front or glaring at that mad woman for being so bloody happy, remember, you have no right to force your feelings onto someone else! Likewise those happy chappies who believe we should be cheerful all day long can not expect us to be happy 24/7 if we choose not to be!

Yes I would rather be happy than miserable and yes middle lane drives infuriate me but those are my thoughts, my opinions and I need to respect that other people have their own opinions too. After all that’s what makes the world go round!

So if you want to smile, smile and if you want to be miserable then be miserable just don’t take your ‘mood’ out on the rest of us!!!

The Power Of Belief

When I talk about belief I am not necessarily talking about religious beliefs although they are linked into belief systems too, however I am talking specifically about personal beliefs. Those beliefs that we hold steady about ourselves, sometimes without even being aware that we have them let alone the impact they have on our everyday life!

We all hold beliefs about ourselves and the world. Some believe that the world is a scary place or that they are great singers (even if that is far from the truth – I am sure some of you watch The X Factor!).

Beliefs are statements that we believe to be true about us and the world and we accept them without question. Major beliefs will affect every area of our lives and if you have limiting or negative beliefs about yourself, the impact will be negative.

Imagine if you believed that you were good enough, you would probably achieve so much more than someone who thought they were useless. If you were good enough  you would go for that promotion, chat that great looking guy up or take on that exciting new project because you believe that you can do it.

On the other hand imagine if you felt you were useless. Well there’s no point going for that interview because you know you won’t get it so why bother even trying and as for that great looking guy, he is way out of your league! What you believe about yourself WILL impact on how you perform on a daily basis.

So if you would rather believe that you were good enough as opposed to useless then get working on changing your limiting beliefs and believe you me (pardon the pun!) it’s easier than you think! All you  need is a little time and commitment.

(For more impact do this exercise on paper!)

1. Firstly ask yourself in what ways is this limiting belief wrong? Are you really not good enough 100% of the time?

2. Then ask yourself in what way this belief is negatively impacting on your life – cover every area of your life from personal to work to financial to relationships etc. Write these down and list as many as you can.

3. Next ask how much better would your life be if you didn’t believe this belief? List all the positive ways you life would improve. Also think of a new empowering belief that you would like instead of the old one. This must be stated in the positive i.e. ‘I am good enough’ and NOT ‘I no longer believe that I am not good enough’.

4. Once complete, focus on all the pain and suffering this old belief is causing in your life and really get a sense of how it’s impacting on how you feel, how you behave and how it affects your life. Really feel the pain that this belief is causing you. Spend about 15-20 seconds doing this.

5. Then think about your future without this belief. Think about how you will feel when you don’t believe this belief anymore and when you believe the new empowering belief that ‘I am good enough’. Notice how you will feel, look, talk, behave and really get a strong feeling of how great you feel and focus on the pleasure you feel believing this new belief. This is your daydream so make is as compelling as you could possibly ever make it! Imagine how fantastic it will be believing that you are good enough. See how your life will improve, how differently you behave. Spend as long as you like doing this but do it for at least one minute.

6.  Also continually re-affirm that you are good enough throughout the day by using positive affirmation.  Do this atleast 10 times each morning and evening and when ever you can remember during the day. The more you do the quicker the result!

7. Do this exercise daily for a month (this is the commitment!) and you will be amazed at how much better you feel!

Why does this exercise work? Well your unconscious mind is the seat of your behaviours, habits and beliefs and over time it has accepted, rightly or wrongly many beliefs about you, so bearing this in mind, it can accept a new belief too.

Secondly your unconscious mind works on the principle of more pleasure less pain so it will automatically take you from a painful situation to a pleasurable one instead (however you need to tell it what you want instead!!). It’s role is to bring as much pleasure into your life so by focusing on the new empowering belief and really FEELING how great it would be to believe that you are good enough, it receives a very clear instruction to change your belief system to one which is more positive and supportive to you now.

Thirdly, your unconscious mind is literal and accepts what you tell it. Unfortunately you will previously have been telling yourself that you aren’t good enough so your mind has responded accordingly! So now you need to tell yourself what you want to be or achieve – so focus on this new belief and anytime you think about the old belief, stop and change it to ‘I am good enough’. After time your unconscious mind willaccept this new belief as fact, no questions asked!!!

So this leads us to the fourth point. Repetition. Our mind learns through repetition so seeing yourself as good enough, feeling good enough and telling yourself you are good enough over and over again, will reinforce this new belief at the unconscious level of your mind where it will be accepted and acted upon. So repeat, repeat, repeat!!

It usually takes between 21-30 days to create a new habit or belief consciously however hypnosis can shorten that time dramatically as it communicates directly with your unconscious mind. So if you struggle changing habits and behaviours or lack the commitment to do this then what not see a hypnotherapist who can help you change your life!

Remember what you focus on in life you will get so focus on what you want. Your mind responds to the images and thoughts you create so make sure they are the ones you want, in order to create the life of your dreams!

Good Luck!