The Power Of Love

As a rather logical and analytical person I love to ‘work out’ how people tick and how to make them feel better – that’s why I do the job I do.

I use the power of the mind to help people overcome phobias, panic, depression, insomnia, low self esteem as well as many other life issues and I fully understand the concept behind the use of hypnosis as a healing tool. The mind or rather the unconscious mind is a very powerful tool – it is larger and more powerful than the conscious mind (will power) and hypnosis allows us to access this amazing ‘machine’ in order to release limiting beliefs, fears, negative thinking patterns etc more or less instantly.

But where is our mind located in our body? Most of us presume our mind is located in our brain but there is no conclusive evidence to suggest this is correct and whilst our brains are phenomenally powerful – no question about that – does it house our mind?

The left side of our brain is referred to as the logical mind – this is where we analyse information we receive in order to make decisions etc. The right side of our brain is the creative part and is where the subconscious mind lies. This is the part of the brain we use when singing, dreaming, or doing anything creative such as drawing or writing.

Our brains are incredibly powerful and can bring about incredible transformations in people when stimulated directly or indirectly (NLP, Hypnosis etc) however whilst our brains have incredible power, our hearts are where the real power lies.

When we compare our mind power to that of the heart – we can see that our hearts win hands down when it comes to sheer power. The following information is from the Heathmath Centre in the States –

HEART FACTS

Research by the Institute for HeartMath in California4 has shown that the heart is the most powerful generator of electromagnetic energy in the human body:

o The heart’s electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain.

o The magnetic field produced by the heart is more than 5000 times greater in strength than the field generated by the brain

o The electromagnetic energy of the heart not only envelops every cell of the human body, but also extends out in all directions in the space around us

o Our cardiac field touches those within 8 – 10 feet of where we are positioned (and perhaps in more subtle ways at greater distances)

o One person’s heart signal can effect another’s brainwaves, and heart-brain synchronization can occur between two people when they interact

o Research conducted at the Institute of HeartMath suggests that the heart’s field is an important carrier of information

Our mental and emotional state impacts the quality of contact we offer to another person. When we touch one another with safe, respectful, loving intention both physically and emotionally, we call into play the full healing power of the heart.

So when we consider all of the above information and take into consideration that our heart has the power to impact every cell in our body as well as influence how other people feel – why do we not use this powerful source of loving energy to transform how we feel and the world we live in?

Love is the most powerful emotion which can bring healing to our bodies and minds. By focusing on the power of love (calling to mind loving memories or the feeling of love) we can not only change how we feel immediately, we can begin to change how we feel long term too. Love can help you transform limiting beliefs, improve health and fitness, help heal wounds in relationships as well as helping you to lose weight!

The heart has more power than your brain and can influence every cell (including your brain cells) in your body. So if you want to feel happier – focus on loving thoughts whilst repeating ‘I feel happier and happier’ or if you want to curb those cravings, call to mind some loving feelings (from a memory or bring to mind someone you love very much) and they repeat in your mind ‘I am in control of my eating. I enjoy eating healthily’.

I use loving meditation all the time to change how I feel, to bring more peace into my mind and relationships, as well as transforming limiting beliefs into supporting positive ones.

So next time you come up against a problem in your life, take five minutes to sit down and bring to mind some loving memories or feelings and as you do focus on a solution to your problem. I recently wanted to change how I felt about someone I was meeting (I wasn’t particularly sure of how I felt about them) as I felt my reservations may impact negatively on our meeting. So I sat down for five minutes focused on some happy memories and then focused on the person I was due to meet whilst sending loving thoughts to them.

When I opened my eyes I felt more positive about this person and this was reflected when we met. As I shook there hand I felt a genuine warmth for them which created a more conducive atmosphere for a successful meeting.

Love really is all you need to change your world and I will be posting a video some time this week on how to transform your limiting beliefs with loving thoughts. So watch this space!

Spread the Love!

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Feel Good Or Bad – Your Choice

I am in the process of getting a program together to help people realize their true potential – to enable people to see how awesome they truly are – and it’s been an exciting project so far.

I have become more and more aware, due to the nature of my job and life itself, that we chose the life we want – that’s right – we chose the life we want! Every second of the day we make life choices which not only affect how we feel from moment to moment, but also our future too,

All to many people focus on the bad things in life and fail to see the abundance of beauty that surrounds them every single second of every single day – and why? Because they have chosen to be ‘miserable’ – it has become a habit for them. They feel ‘safe’ being miserable and it becomes comfortable – just like an old comfy sweater – worn out and holey! They resent happy people and go out of their way to hurt others – because in some way – it makes them feel better temporarily.

And when you ask said people how they are – they will no doubt moan and groan about this and that and when you ask them if they are happy in their life – amazingly they will say yes!! And why? Because we all strive to be happy – but how we go about that may not be working!

We chose our moods – no one else choses them for us – how can they? Seriously? No-one can get inside your head except you and I mean no-one. You chose whether you get upset about the mindless comment made by a colleague – you chose to get upset. It has absolutely nothing to do with what anyone says – it is about whether you wish to ‘accept’ what your colleague has said and get upset or whether you chose to ignore it or deal with it.

Surely you know that what people say (about you) is about them and where they are at – and has absolutely nothing to do with you? Yes, your boss can give you some feedback – and you can take it as just that – feedback – a way to improve your performance. Or you could take it as a personal sleight and spend days and weeks brooding. Again – your choice.

When we begin to realize that everything about our life is a choice – it makes it all the more easier to change it! Think about it – if you react to everyone in your life, to what people say or do – you are handing others control over your life.

However if  you acknowledge what is happening in your life and chose whether or not to react (and again it’s a choice whether your react positively or negatively here too!) you maintain control over your life and believe me – it feels incredible!

If you chose anger – then expect anger in return. If you chose hate then expect hate in return. If you chose victim then expect to be abused. But if you chose love you get love in return. If you chose tolerance you will receive tolerance and if you chose fun – how much better will your life be?

So stop blaming others for the way you feel and for once in your life – make a commitment to change your life for the better by acknowledging your personal power. You have so much personal power which lies dormant – wake it up, shake it out and chose a better life!!

After all it literally is your choice.

Stop! Pattern – Pattern Interupt

Break any habit or negative thought pattern easily with this simple NLP technique! Re-write your thoughts and habits and change how you think, feel and act yourself. Perseverance is key here however the more you do this the more positive your life will become! Good luck.

The Power Of Belief

When I talk about belief I am not necessarily talking about religious beliefs although they are linked into belief systems too, however I am talking specifically about personal beliefs. Those beliefs that we hold steady about ourselves, sometimes without even being aware that we have them let alone the impact they have on our everyday life!

We all hold beliefs about ourselves and the world. Some believe that the world is a scary place or that they are great singers (even if that is far from the truth – I am sure some of you watch The X Factor!).

Beliefs are statements that we believe to be true about us and the world and we accept them without question. Major beliefs will affect every area of our lives and if you have limiting or negative beliefs about yourself, the impact will be negative.

Imagine if you believed that you were good enough, you would probably achieve so much more than someone who thought they were useless. If you were good enough  you would go for that promotion, chat that great looking guy up or take on that exciting new project because you believe that you can do it.

On the other hand imagine if you felt you were useless. Well there’s no point going for that interview because you know you won’t get it so why bother even trying and as for that great looking guy, he is way out of your league! What you believe about yourself WILL impact on how you perform on a daily basis.

So if you would rather believe that you were good enough as opposed to useless then get working on changing your limiting beliefs and believe you me (pardon the pun!) it’s easier than you think! All you  need is a little time and commitment.

(For more impact do this exercise on paper!)

1. Firstly ask yourself in what ways is this limiting belief wrong? Are you really not good enough 100% of the time?

2. Then ask yourself in what way this belief is negatively impacting on your life – cover every area of your life from personal to work to financial to relationships etc. Write these down and list as many as you can.

3. Next ask how much better would your life be if you didn’t believe this belief? List all the positive ways you life would improve. Also think of a new empowering belief that you would like instead of the old one. This must be stated in the positive i.e. ‘I am good enough’ and NOT ‘I no longer believe that I am not good enough’.

4. Once complete, focus on all the pain and suffering this old belief is causing in your life and really get a sense of how it’s impacting on how you feel, how you behave and how it affects your life. Really feel the pain that this belief is causing you. Spend about 15-20 seconds doing this.

5. Then think about your future without this belief. Think about how you will feel when you don’t believe this belief anymore and when you believe the new empowering belief that ‘I am good enough’. Notice how you will feel, look, talk, behave and really get a strong feeling of how great you feel and focus on the pleasure you feel believing this new belief. This is your daydream so make is as compelling as you could possibly ever make it! Imagine how fantastic it will be believing that you are good enough. See how your life will improve, how differently you behave. Spend as long as you like doing this but do it for at least one minute.

6.  Also continually re-affirm that you are good enough throughout the day by using positive affirmation.  Do this atleast 10 times each morning and evening and when ever you can remember during the day. The more you do the quicker the result!

7. Do this exercise daily for a month (this is the commitment!) and you will be amazed at how much better you feel!

Why does this exercise work? Well your unconscious mind is the seat of your behaviours, habits and beliefs and over time it has accepted, rightly or wrongly many beliefs about you, so bearing this in mind, it can accept a new belief too.

Secondly your unconscious mind works on the principle of more pleasure less pain so it will automatically take you from a painful situation to a pleasurable one instead (however you need to tell it what you want instead!!). It’s role is to bring as much pleasure into your life so by focusing on the new empowering belief and really FEELING how great it would be to believe that you are good enough, it receives a very clear instruction to change your belief system to one which is more positive and supportive to you now.

Thirdly, your unconscious mind is literal and accepts what you tell it. Unfortunately you will previously have been telling yourself that you aren’t good enough so your mind has responded accordingly! So now you need to tell yourself what you want to be or achieve – so focus on this new belief and anytime you think about the old belief, stop and change it to ‘I am good enough’. After time your unconscious mind willaccept this new belief as fact, no questions asked!!!

So this leads us to the fourth point. Repetition. Our mind learns through repetition so seeing yourself as good enough, feeling good enough and telling yourself you are good enough over and over again, will reinforce this new belief at the unconscious level of your mind where it will be accepted and acted upon. So repeat, repeat, repeat!!

It usually takes between 21-30 days to create a new habit or belief consciously however hypnosis can shorten that time dramatically as it communicates directly with your unconscious mind. So if you struggle changing habits and behaviours or lack the commitment to do this then what not see a hypnotherapist who can help you change your life!

Remember what you focus on in life you will get so focus on what you want. Your mind responds to the images and thoughts you create so make sure they are the ones you want, in order to create the life of your dreams!

Good Luck!

Responsibility Versus Blame…….Let The Race Begin

Responsibility and blame line up at the start of the race – both look on top form and both have their own band of supporters. They are on the starting blocks………..and then they are off. Blame gets off to a good start, with responsibility close behind. It’s a close battle at the beginning of the race and blame,fueled by anger and self pity, steams forward inching away from responsibility, however responsibility has maintained an even pace and manages to overtake and surpass blame, sprinting towards the finish and with a clear vision of success in mind, crosses the line and takes first place. A race well run with the only true contender winning.

As a therapist I deal with many people who suffer from a myriad of issues ranging from lack of self esteem to bad habits to excessive eating and before I can help any of them, they need to accept responsibility for there issue and for any subsequent changes. This does not mean that they are to ‘blame’  for their issues it simply means they need to acknowledge that in order to change they have to accept that they can not keep on going the way they are going.

For example, I often hear from clients who are overweight that it is because of ‘hormonal issues’ or ‘it’s in their genes’ or that they ‘love food’ or ‘they kids love this food’ but they do not acknowledge that it is anything that they are doing that is causing them to be overweight (research also shows that that very few people have what is often referred to as the ‘fat’ gene). So how can I help someone who blames their genes or the fact that they love food and don’t wish to change their eating habits? I can’t!

However if an overweight client comes in and admits that they have several issues with food that they wish to address then I can certainly help them and they can help themselves too because they have admitted responsibility for their weight. They have chosen to overeat or to eat unhealthily, and it may well have been something they were ‘taught’ as a child, but as an adult they can choose to change or continue to blame someone else for their being overweight. It is a choice. We can take responsibility for who we are and who we wish to become and we can acknowledge that what we do is not working therefore we need to change something to make it work.

Taking responsibility for our lives is incredibly empowering and instead of blaming God, the kids, your parents etc for what is wrong in your life, isn’t it about time you took responsibility for how you behave? Of course you may well suffer from anxiety or low self esteem if you lived with domineering or critical parents, but is you continue to blame your parents for your low self esteem you stay in victim mode and you maintain your low self esteem. So does blame really improve your life in anyway or does it give you the easy option of staying where you are and avoiding change?

Yes your parents could have contributed to your low self esteem however as an adult you have to accept responsibility for yourself for who you are now. That may mean that you can acknowledge that events or people in your past contributed towards your lack of confidence or anxiety etc however as an adult you now have the choice whether to continue blaming the past or move forward qand improve your future.

Responsibility features very much is all adult relationships too and I quite often see clients who wish to increase confidence or feel  better about themselves after years in an abusive or controlling relationship.  In any adult relationship be it love, work or friendship you have to accept 50% of the responsibility for that relationship.

Yes it may be that your partner is physically and emotionally abusive and he/she may be the ‘bad’ one in the relationship, but by staying in the abusive or controlling relationship and allowing your partner to continue the abuse you are just as responsible as they are for the state of your relationship. Both parties are equally responsible however for the victim it is very important that they realize that they have a choice. They can either allow the abuse to continue and blame the perpetrator for their awful life or they can  refuse to allow the abuse to continue and either leave or get help and thus accept responsibility for their life and their well being.

Whilst you can change who you are you can not change other people unless they accept your help and in order to do this they need to accept responsibility for where they are in their lives too.

Anger is another great excuse for people to play the blame game and I have come across many angry people in my life! (I too have given in to anger but at least I can see who is to blame!). Anger masks another emotion, usually fear, and  is used as a defense mechanism to protect against emotional hurt and in some cases too, to avoid the individual acknowledging that they are unhappy in their lives. How many times do you hear people blame others for losing control? ‘It’s your fault that I am angry!’ they shout but is it the other persons fault that you lost control? Absolutely not!

We control how we feel and if we chose to let someone upset us then we are to ‘blame’. We can either ignore hurtful words or respond to them angrily, either way it is our choice how we react. We can stay in control or we can let the other person take control by responding negatively.

If you suffer from depression, anxiety, anger, negativity, worry – then take responsibility for how you are feeling today and tomorrow you can change your life by changing how you feel. Your thoughts make you who you are and only you (with some help if you require it) can change your thoughts. Stop blaming your mum or partner or siblings or work colleagues and take the initiative to take back responsibility and change your life. You will feel so much better! It may take time but believe you me, it is well worth it!