Faster Than Before

I am a fully qualified Hypnotherapist, NLP Practitioner, EFT Practitioner, Reiki Master, Time Line Therapist, Anger Management and Weight Management Consultant and Meditation Teacher amongst other things…..phew!

I use most of what I have learnt during my sessions with clients and there are one or two things that I find work well and which I enjoy using  myself too. Visualization is incredibly powerful and can lift your mood as well as transform your future. But what about letting go of the proverbial crap from your past?

I stumbled on Faster EFT recently – the ‘baby’ of Robert Smith (no not that Robert Smith…). I love EFT as I find it calming, soothing and incredibly quick at letting go of hurts and trauma from the past, however this Faster EFT not only works just as effectively as EFT, it is also quicker and easier to use. And what I like the most is, its a tool which my clients can utilise away from therapy too. Win;Win all round!

The process is simple to follow and works quickly on releasing ‘trapped’ emotions from the past and if you don’t think you carry around trapped emotions, think of a memory which was particularly upsetting to you at the time or frightening and notice how you can still feel those old feelings.

Basically you focus on a ‘bad’ memory, and the feelings it brings up in you whilst tapping certain acupressure points on your face and collar bone and that’s it! Simple. Effective and quick. I like it and it works well with my clients too!

I use Faster EFT myself, especially after a bad day or if I have any unexplained aches and pains – its awesome! So if you are struggling to let go of the past or any limiting beliefs, give this amazing tool a go. Visit my website to access a free copy of how to do Faster EFT or have a look on YouTube – there are plenty of videos on there which you can tap along to!

Have a peek at the free Faster EFT script courtesy of Robert Smith – and have a go. You have everything to gain and nothing what so ever to lose!

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Take A Deep Breath….

……and count to 10.

Great advice if you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated or if you feel that you are going to say something you might just regret in the heat of the moment.

Focusing your mind of something other than the ‘thing’ that you don’t want to focus on (anxiety, depression, anger) etc is a great way to break the cycle of these habitual patterns.

If you suffer from anxiety – as soon as you feel the symptoms coming on – change your point of focus – immediately. Squeeze together your thumb and finger and focus on everything that you can see – in minute detail – or on what you can hear (however if all you can hear is the thumping of your own heart – then maybe this isn’t the best point of focus!). Loose yourself in another sense and not what you are experiencing in your body or your mind.

Yes it will be difficult to begin with – your mind and body are used to being hijacked by your anxiety – but PERSEVERE. Soon your mind will associate your squeezing your thumb and finger together with changing your point of focus.

Why change your point of focus? Simple. If you are listening intently to every sound that you can hear – it’s impossible to focus on those horrible feelings you feel in your body! Its a simple way to not only feel better, but to improve your senses and also to take back control of your anxiety.

It you don’t try it – you will never know! Go on give it a go – it’s amazing what a simple thing such as changing focus can do!

If you ‘forget’ to focus on those feelings then how can you feel anxious? You cant! So as soon as you feel those feelings arising – focus, focus, focus! Persevere too – it is worth it!

 

Confident Children And Imagination

My son was a very anxious boy this morning. He is playing in the school team this evening in a deciding match for the league title and he is scared!

As a mum it’s all to easy to say ‘don’t be ridiculous, you’re a great player’ and leave it at that, but if your child is really worried about something or lacking confidence then surely there is a better way to help them that just offering reassurance?

Well thankfully there is! Confidence is based on perception i.e. your child’s own idea of whether they feel they can do something well or not and like us all, confidence can be diminished through ‘bad’ experiences. And when I say ‘bad’ the experiences themselves may not necessarily be bad but the meanings we take from them may be.

So your son is anxious about a match or your daughter feels scared about doing her Show and Tell – how can you help them?

Two ways really and both very simple and incredibly powerful.

The first one is to get them to ‘rehearse’ what they are going to do in their mind and talk them through it with as much positivity as possible. Make them feel incredible and make sure that every detail is positive and that the outcome is a success.

Not only will this boost their confidence as you are doing the exercise but it also programs their mind to do what they have been ‘rehearsing’ too! So when they stand up in front of the class or get in front of that goal, their mind goes ‘ah right, I know what I need to know now’ and more often than not, they will get the results the practiced.

However be realistic. Don’ set them up for failure! You son will probably not score 10 goals even if he is up front and not in defence! The idea is to get them to focus on the skills needed to get the results they want and to program their minds for success and remember what the mind can see you will achieve – so if your child focuses on failure (which is probable if they are worried) they are more likely to fail. So get them to always focus on what they want from this moment on (and you too!)

To help them feel more positive towards doing this and the following exercise, mention how all the top sports personalities carry out this exercise and how it improves their game/race etc.

Another great way of boosting your kids confidence (which can be incorporated with the exercise above too) is know as the confidence switch. This is quite simply setting up a physical anchor which when ‘fired’ produces feelings of well being and confidence in your child. 

So how do you literally turn on a confidence switch? Well the first thing you need to do is decide what the switch will be (a good place is a knuckle on one hand, the back of the hand or even their nose) and ensure you keep this ‘switch’ and that the pressure used is the same too i.e. press the same place all the time and with enough pressure to register the touch but not too much that it’s obvious. Also once this is set up the switch needs to be something that you child themselves can access themselves if and when they need it. So discretion might be key.

Once you have decided where the ‘switch’ will be then you need to set it. So get your child to remember a time when they felt really great, perhaps when they scored a goal previously or when they were doing something they loved doing such as dancing, singing or simply a time when they felt really great – perhaps playing with friends or on the rollercoaster! 

Get them to close their eyes if they want to (it’s ok if they don’t want to) and get them (with a little help from you) to talk through the positive experience as if they were actually reliving it again. Ask them what they see, what they hear and ask them to really focus on how great they were feeling and as you know yourself, when you focus on happy memories those old feelings flood back don’t they? 

So when you see that your child has associated into those feel good feelings (it will be very obvious with a child when they are!) simply touch their ‘switch’ for roughly 10 seconds. Then stop.

Get them to go through the memory again maybe this time bring in more details or try another memory. Again get your child to really focus on all that they remember and when you see them accessing those happy feel good feelings again, anchor them by touching their knuckle again.

Do this a couple of times at any one go – don’t overdo it as your child will get fed up! Do it again with them the next day or the next to ensure that their confidence switch becomes more powerful.

However one of the best things about the confidence switch is that your child doesn’t even have to know what you are doing! You can get them to focus on happy memories whilst you anchor these feelings by touching their hand (in the same place and the same hand!)/knuckle/nose in such a way that they are unaware of what you are doing. 

Also every time they are feeling happy, confident or at ease with themselves you can simply top us this switch by touching their knuckle for a few seconds. 

You need to go this exercise around 4 – 8 times and then try out the switch. Get you child to focus and then flip the switch and ask (and watch out for signs) them what they noticed? Keep topping up this confidence switch – whenever you child is doing something they are enjoying, when they tell you about a fab goal they scored at school or how they did this incredible dance move – just switch that switch. The more you do this the better the result.

They will be delighted with their new weapon of  mass construction! So give this a go – it’s easy to do and will make your child feel so much more confident and in control. Furthermore, the more they use this switch the more likely the behaviour is to become a natural part of who they are. 

I will keep you posted on the result tonight!

Take care and speak soon!!!

Remember a time…….

…a specific time when you felt great about yourself, when you achieved something or when you just felt so relaxed or great to be alive. And as you remember that time now I want you to really get a sense of being right back in that moment right now…..perhaps close your eyes and see the memory now.

See it as though you were right back in that moment now, as though you were looking through your eyes and really see everything that you could see at that time. Hear what you could hear – perhaps people talking – and really get a sense of how great you felt at that time.

And you may be surprised at how good you are beginning to feel as your mind re-associates into those feelings at that time. Now make that image bigger, brighter, perhaps make the sounds crisper and notice how the feelings become stronger and stronger.

Keep focusing on everything that was going on at that time and feel all those feel good feelings flooding through your body again and doesn’t it feel good to know that you can feel this good when ever you want to?

How? By simply focusing on happy memories or positive things in our lives – such as gratitude – you can begin to feel a lot more positive and a whole heap happier.

If you suffer from depression or anxiety you have a tendency to focus on the ‘bad’ things or those things that make us feel anxious. You go through old hurts over and over again replaying them over and over again in your mind however, unlike a movie reel which will wear out over time, these memories seem to get stronger and more powerful the more you play them.

Sometimes these memories become distorted in some way so that they appear worse than what they actually were and all the time our mind is remembering and reliving these ‘bad’ memories your body is re-experiencing all those old ‘bad’ feelings.

Your cells become accustomed to certain feelings (depression, anxiety, anger) and you stay trapped in a cycle of bad feelings, as your body begins to ‘crave’ those ‘bad’ feelings because it’s all it knows so you continue to focus on those old memories and those negative feelings. Then you get given a label. Depressive. OCD. Frustrated.

If you want to beat depression, anxiety, anger, sadness, worthlessness or any other negative emotion then it’s time to change the movies you run in your mind. However before you do that you need to become aware of them first!

So take a few day to ‘listen in’ to your thoughts, and discover what things you dwell on – and write them down. You will be amazed at how a pattern seems to form. Once you become aware of what you focus on, then make a commitment to yourself that you are going to change. Write this down to and state it in the positive.

So if you want to let go of depression and feel happier then make a commitment to yourself to focus on the happy things in life and always see the good in any situation. If you want to be less angry, then make a commitment to stay calm in every situation and to speak calmly and politely to everyone.

Once you have made that commitment, for the next 30 days you need to change the movies in your mind or those negative thoughts to ones that are more supportive of your new outlook.

So as soon as you find yourself dwelling on that memory of you feeling sad, say CANCEL in your mind and bring in a new happy memory (and yes you will have them you have just chosen to forget them!) and focus on this memory for about 15-20 seconds. Each and every time you have a negative thought say CANCEL in your mind and change to positive supportive thoughts such as ‘I am happy’, ‘I am in control’ etc.

Write a reminder of what you are doing somewhere visible so that you are reminded everyday what you are doing. Use post it notes and stick them on mirrors, cupboard doors etc to remind you to change those old movies or thoughts to new, positive and supporting ones.

Yes some days will feel like an up hill struggle and that’s okay. Persevere. Because it’s natural to come up with some resistance when you are making changes to your life. So know that it’s natural to ‘fight’ these new changes and keep on going!

You can change how you feel and depression, anxiety, anger, low self esteem and all those horrible feelings are all run on automatic. Your thoughts run who you are so make a commitment to change how you feel and change your thoughts.

However in order to succeed there are three words of advice for you.

Persevere. Persevere. Persevere.

 

 

 

The Butterfly Hug

Recently I have mentioned the Butterfly Hug which is a really simple yet powerful way to release negative emotions such as grief, anxiety, depression and trauma and this is an excellent tool to help kids who suffer from anxiety due to Aspergers, Autism, ADHD etc as it’s something they can use themselves easily once taught.

Anxiety and Aspergers….helping your child

I have recently become involved with a group locally who have formed a support group for parents with kids who have Aspergers or Autism and it it’s refreshing to know that I am not alone out there, struggling to cope with the needs of a ‘special’ child.

It became apparent during our meeting that one thing many parents were worried about, as well as many other issues,  was their kids anxiety levels. I could certainly relate to this as my son can get anxious about any changes in his routine and depending on the circumstances his anxiety can be that severe that he loses feeling in his body and feels ‘weird’ as he would say.  Not only does anxiety impair already tenuous social interaction and performance in kids with Aspergers and Autism but if left unchecked  can and has lead to depression too.

However there is a simple, yet extremely powerful and proven technique that these kids can learn (or parents) to help them relieve their anxiety about a specific event, memory or just the anxiety they are feeling at the moment and it’s such a lovely and comforting tool too!

This technique is know as the ‘Butterfly Hug’ and is based on EMDR which is a powerful tool recognised by the Medical profession for it’s ability to resolve trauma and anxiety and was developed by Francine Shapiro.  It’s based on something known as bi-lateral stimulation which simply means you stimulate either side of your body simultaneously. You can, for example tap each thigh, right, left, right, left etc or you can move your eyes, whilst keeping your head still, from right to left several times too.

I’m not going to go into the how this technique works however, what I will tell you is that this works! I use this technique in my practice with amazing results and for children it is such a lovely soothing technique to use!

You can teach this technique to your child in order that they can learn to self soothe or you can do this for them by taping alternative shoulders/tops of arms for them. However if your kid needs to release his anxiety at school say, they could tap on alternative  thighs as this is more discreet.

The Technique:

1. To do the butterfly hug, cross your arms across your chest, as if you were holding yourself, with your right hand resting on your left upper arm and your left hand on your right upper arm.

2. Then, as you experience whatever anxiety or fear you may have, tap alternately – left, right, left, right – at whatever speed you find comfortable (usually two taps each second). The important thing is that you alternate the taps – one side, then the other.

3. After tapping for a while, stop, take a breath, and notice how you’re feeling. You may be surprised to discover that you’re feeling somewhat calmer.

4. Continue to tap until your anxiety diminishes or reduces.

5. If your level of anxiety or fear doesn’t change at all, give yourself some more time with the butterfly hug and see what happens.

6. You can do the butterfly hug for as much or little time as you find comfortable, and as many times a day as you feel a need to settle yourself.

Such a simple technique but incredibly powerful and a simple way to help you child take control of their own anxiety. And as a result the will notice their general level of anxiety will fall as a result!

So happy tapping and if you need any further advice on how to help your child with anxiety give me a ring on 07532 110457 or drop me a line at mairead@mcrhypnotherapy.com

For further information on the Trafford Aspergers support group visit traffordaspergers@yahoo.co.uk.

Or read the article below.

http://www.messengernewspapers.co.uk/news/whereyoulive/urmston/10282020.New_support_group_for_young_people_with_Asperger_s_syndrome/

The Power Of Words Can Heal or Wound – Your Choice.

I can remember as a child my dad reciting that popular phrase that ‘words will never hurt me’ and thinking it strange then. As a child I only ever thought of the pain inflicted physically by the ‘sticks and stones’ and never quite understood (although at some level I obviously did!) that words could hurt.

Read any good self help book out there today and most will touch on the element of choice in our lives. We can chose what we want to eat, we can chose where we want to live and we can even chose our moods too. The same goes for the words that we speak and the words that we utter.

It is said that successful people think carefully about the words that they use by ensuring they create a positive impact on those they are intended for. Hypnotists weave an incredibly intricate web of words to create positive change in their clients and lovers use sensuous words to captivate their lovers.

So when was the last time you actually thought about what you say or think? Perhaps it’s about time you took a serious look inside your mind and recreate a new language of love, positivity, gratitude and humility – you may be surprised at the changes you experience.

We all know that angry, hurtful words such as ‘hate’. ‘fear’, ‘ugly’ and ‘stupid’ can have a very negative impact on an individual – who wants to hear someone call them ugly or tell them they hate them? But did you know these words have an impact on you another level too, other than the emotional?

Words can actually hurt on a physical level too – on a psychological level. Imagine a child being told daily by their parents that they are stupid and useless – they grow up wrongly believing that they are stupid and useless. Now if you believe that you are useless and stupid you are far more likely to worry about your performance in any area of life – so you may well suffer from increased anxiety and stress.

Stress as we know does affect our physical welfare and can be a killer – so you can see how words can impact on our physical welfare too. Furthermore, you may also punish yourself, albeit, on an unconscious level, which can impact both emotionally and physically too.

There is also a well-respected research article on the effects of words on water by Dr. Emoto. He concluded that negative words negatively impact on the structure of water whereas positive words had the opposite effect and bearing in mind that the human body is made up of between 60 – 80% water, then you can start to see how words can impact on how we feel!

So if you want to feel better and make those you love feel a whole lot better too then consider how you use your words. They can either make or break a person and the world would be a better place if we treated each other with the respect we wish to be treated with and the words we would love to hear.