We come across many people in our everyday lives. Some enhance our lives whilst others detract from our daily satisfactions and others seem hell bent on making you pay for whatever shit they are dealing with in their lives or from their past!
I believe that we can learn a lot from the people that show up in our lives, especially when certain types of people show up regularly! There’s a learning there for the taking.
Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. Certain behaviours we find annoying in others may be a reflection of a behaviour we deny in ourselves which we may need to address such as anger, weakness, thoughtless etc
We can all have elements of these behaviours, but for some people these behaviours may be creating problems in their lives. Non of us are infallible. If you think you are, you may need to address this! 😂
Behaviours that upset us could also be a warning that we need to look at our belief system and address a limiting belief about ourselves or our world, or it could be showing us that we need to be more true to ourselves and not others.
You may come across rude or controlling people that ‘ push your button’ and it may well be that you need to address how you let others treat you. It may be a lesson in learning to stand up for yourself or to believe in yourself more.
Or it may mean you need to look at relationships where you too are controlling in some way.
There are always lessons to learn from behaviours that you find distasteful in others!
For example, I have recently met a woman who is highly controlling and I consider her behaviour rude. She, it appears, is entitled to be flexible, whilst she expects me to ask ‘how high’ when she tells (not asks) me to jump!
To say I find her manner frustrating is an understatement however I have asked myself why she should show up in my life. What is her controlling behaviour, her rudeness and her superiority flagging up within me?
The first learning. Stick up for yourself more. Now depending on who you ask, you may well get two sides to this!
Whilst I don’t take kindly to being messed around there are situations where I tolerate bad behaviour for the appearance of ‘professionalism’. However I can still be professional and say no thank you!
Tolerating disrespectful behaviour that is a ‘one off’ is fine, but when it forms the basis of a relationship, it needs to be dealt with accordingly. I am worthy of respect. Learning number two.
Also – is her overly controlling behaviour highlighting an element of controlling behaviour in me? I can certainly see situations where I can be controlling – I’m no where near as bad as I used to be but could I still loosen my parental reins? Probably. Lesson number three.
But it’s also interesting to see just how much I have already let go of the need to control my kids’ lives and this woman’s controlling behaviour has highlighted just how much I have changed and has helped me recognise this positive change. So all good so far! Lesson number four.
And honestly? This behaviour is this woman’s responsibility. It’s her ‘story’. She needs to own it. She needs to address it. Not me. Lesson number five.
But the main lesson? It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to say I’m sorry but I deserve better than this. It’s okay to walk away without any explanation. Lesson number six.
Wow! How amazing. Someone’s shitty behaviour has helped me see so much within me. Imagine if we all reflected on this how much more self awareness we’d have. How much better we would feel?
So if you continue to ‘invite’ people into your life with a behaviour trait that grates with you, ask yourself these two questions.
What behaviour in me do I dislike and need to address?
What limiting belief is this highlighting within me that I need to let go of?
We do not need to be held hostage by other people’s shitty behaviour and by working out why it pisses us off so much, we will find ourselves less and less bothered by obnoxious people. Now how awesome would that be?
Because, from where I am standing, well sitting, we are ALL worthy of respect. So expect nothing less.
You are amazing.
You are enough.
You deserve better.