The Power Of Love

As a rather logical and analytical person I love to ‘work out’ how people tick and how to make them feel better – that’s why I do the job I do.

I use the power of the mind to help people overcome phobias, panic, depression, insomnia, low self esteem as well as many other life issues and I fully understand the concept behind the use of hypnosis as a healing tool. The mind or rather the unconscious mind is a very powerful tool – it is larger and more powerful than the conscious mind (will power) and hypnosis allows us to access this amazing ‘machine’ in order to release limiting beliefs, fears, negative thinking patterns etc more or less instantly.

But where is our mind located in our body? Most of us presume our mind is located in our brain but there is no conclusive evidence to suggest this is correct and whilst our brains are phenomenally powerful – no question about that – does it house our mind?

The left side of our brain is referred to as the logical mind – this is where we analyse information we receive in order to make decisions etc. The right side of our brain is the creative part and is where the subconscious mind lies. This is the part of the brain we use when singing, dreaming, or doing anything creative such as drawing or writing.

Our brains are incredibly powerful and can bring about incredible transformations in people when stimulated directly or indirectly (NLP, Hypnosis etc) however whilst our brains have incredible power, our hearts are where the real power lies.

When we compare our mind power to that of the heart – we can see that our hearts win hands down when it comes to sheer power. The following information is from the Heathmath Centre in the States –

HEART FACTS

Research by the Institute for HeartMath in California4 has shown that the heart is the most powerful generator of electromagnetic energy in the human body:

o The heart’s electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain.

o The magnetic field produced by the heart is more than 5000 times greater in strength than the field generated by the brain

o The electromagnetic energy of the heart not only envelops every cell of the human body, but also extends out in all directions in the space around us

o Our cardiac field touches those within 8 – 10 feet of where we are positioned (and perhaps in more subtle ways at greater distances)

o One person’s heart signal can effect another’s brainwaves, and heart-brain synchronization can occur between two people when they interact

o Research conducted at the Institute of HeartMath suggests that the heart’s field is an important carrier of information

Our mental and emotional state impacts the quality of contact we offer to another person. When we touch one another with safe, respectful, loving intention both physically and emotionally, we call into play the full healing power of the heart.

So when we consider all of the above information and take into consideration that our heart has the power to impact every cell in our body as well as influence how other people feel – why do we not use this powerful source of loving energy to transform how we feel and the world we live in?

Love is the most powerful emotion which can bring healing to our bodies and minds. By focusing on the power of love (calling to mind loving memories or the feeling of love) we can not only change how we feel immediately, we can begin to change how we feel long term too. Love can help you transform limiting beliefs, improve health and fitness, help heal wounds in relationships as well as helping you to lose weight!

The heart has more power than your brain and can influence every cell (including your brain cells) in your body. So if you want to feel happier – focus on loving thoughts whilst repeating ‘I feel happier and happier’ or if you want to curb those cravings, call to mind some loving feelings (from a memory or bring to mind someone you love very much) and they repeat in your mind ‘I am in control of my eating. I enjoy eating healthily’.

I use loving meditation all the time to change how I feel, to bring more peace into my mind and relationships, as well as transforming limiting beliefs into supporting positive ones.

So next time you come up against a problem in your life, take five minutes to sit down and bring to mind some loving memories or feelings and as you do focus on a solution to your problem. I recently wanted to change how I felt about someone I was meeting (I wasn’t particularly sure of how I felt about them) as I felt my reservations may impact negatively on our meeting. So I sat down for five minutes focused on some happy memories and then focused on the person I was due to meet whilst sending loving thoughts to them.

When I opened my eyes I felt more positive about this person and this was reflected when we met. As I shook there hand I felt a genuine warmth for them which created a more conducive atmosphere for a successful meeting.

Love really is all you need to change your world and I will be posting a video some time this week on how to transform your limiting beliefs with loving thoughts. So watch this space!

Spread the Love!

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Your Life – Your Responsibility

I wrote a post on my other blog recently about responsibility and how it underpins an ancient Hawaiian healing process known as Ho’oponopono. Ho’oponopono works on the premise that we have to accept 100% for everything that happens in our lives and whilst this is a massive thing to take on board, it is in fact the only way to bring harmony into your life.

Our life is a mirror of our mind – what we perceive in the outside world is what we project from our inner mind as wonderfully illustrated in the ode below:

‘Why is everyone here so happy except me?’

‘Because they have learned to see goodness and beauty everywhere’ said the Master

‘Why don’t I see goodness and beauty everywhere?’

‘Because you cannot see outside of you what you fail to see inside.’                                       Anthony de Mello

If we fail to see love in the outside world it’s because we fail to see it inside ourselves. If we fail to see generosity in the world around us it is because we fail to see it in ourselves and in our minds. What we see in our minds – good or bad – is what we see in the outside world.

We project a mirror image of our internal world onto our outside world – ‘perception is projection’. What we perceive in others or the world is what we see in ourselves (project) based on our past experiences. What we see in our world can be very different from what other people see and we tend to overlook this fact especially in our relationships.

If two people go into a relationship with different views, beliefs and opinions they will no doubt see things differently but also have different expectations from one another too and that’s okay as long as both parties recognise that each is unique. Problems occur when we fail to see other people as individuals with individual needs.

For example, if a woman goes into a relationship believing that she isn’t good enough, she may seek continual reassurance from her partner in order to feel less inadequate or insecure. If she doesn’t receive this continual reassurance she may feel let down or even rejected and/or she may begin to see the other person as cold or withdrawn.

Her partner on the other hand may value freedom – perhaps he has been in a controlling relationship in the past – so he expects to do what he wants when he wants. So as their relationship progresses she becomes more demanding – seeking continual reassurances in order to make her feel good enough and he begins to feel smothered, so he asserts his right to freedom by pulling away from her. This leaves her feeling even more in need of reassurances and him wanting more and more freedom to escape her continual demand for attention and so the cycles begins.

So when the relationship ends (she feels let down because he was  ‘cold and uncaring’  and he feels disappointed because she was so ‘needy’) both seek to blame the other because they feel so hurt and let down. Neither accepts any responsibility in the doomed relationship though both we involved, so they go on to do the same thing in their next relationship and the one after that and so on and so on. How many times have you heard people saying ‘I always seem to attract the wrong man’ or ‘I always end up getting hurt’?

By accepting 100% responsibility for every relationship in your life you can break the continual cycle of disastrous relationships. If you blame every one else for your failed relationships then how can you begin to change future relationships? You cant! By looking at how you, not the other person, contributed to the relationship breakdown, you begin to gain some valuable insight into how you see yourself and other people and how this impacts on each and every relationship you have.

When you ask yourself   ‘what can I learn about myself from this relationship?’ you can begin to gain a better insight into how you contributed to the success or failure of any relationship. You can begin to see that perhaps it was your continual need to be valued that drove the other person away or perhaps it was your fear of rejection which meant that you were too demanding?

Yes the other person may well have treated you with little respect but how did you contribute to this? Did you allow them to disrespect you? Did you speak up about how you felt and allow the other person a chance to change how they treated you? If you did and they still treated you disrespectfully,  did you walk away?

If you continually seek to blame the other person you continually fail yourself.  If you accept 100% responsibility for your relationships you allow yourself the chance to let go of blame, bitterness and the desire to always be right. Instead you find it easier to say ‘I’m sorry’ and move on with your life. Each of us is responsible for how we treat others and each one of us is responsible for how we let others treat ourselves.

However – and this is where most of the confusion occurs regarding accepting 100% responsibility for every relationship you have – whilst I accept 100% responsibility for my relationships – I do not accept the ‘blame’.

If you mistreated me or abused me or hit me I accept that there was something in me that allowed this to happen however I neither condone or accept responsibility for your behaviour. You are 100% responsible for how you allow others to treat you, for your behaviour, your actions and how you treat me. I am 100% responsible for how I allow others to treat me, for what I say and how I behave.

We all contribute to every relationship we have (and if you don’t contribute then perhaps that’s why you are on your own!) so we each need to accept 100% responsibility for them. I can accept 100% responsibility for my relationship with you but I can not accept 100% responsibility on your behalf – only you can do that.

Whilst I can accept 100% responsibility for my relationships I can not expect others to accept any responsibility for theirs and neither can you. Some people have neither the emotional intelligence nor the maturity to accept any responsibility for anything let alone for the relationships they have however once you begin to notice that you are allowing these people into your life, you can begin to weed them out!

All people come into your life to teach you valuable lessons – whether it’s to teach you to respect yourself more or to show you how wonderful you truly are – they are in your life for a purpose. The more you learn from each and every person in your life, the more fulfilling your life will become.

Be the person you want others to be and they will become the person you want them to be. If you want respect you need to respect yourself. If you want to be valued you need to see value in yourself.

 

Loose Something? Cash, Weight…….

Most of us refer to weight loss or losing weight – it’s one of the highest search terms in google – and many people try to lose weight many times during their lives especially before a holiday or event (wedding, graduation etc) but how many of us question the actual language we use?

I will use the term ‘weight loss’ on my website as it’s what potential clients search for but I do not use it in my sessions! And if you think of it – there is a pretty obvious reason as to why it’s best to avoid the phrases ‘weight loss’ or ‘losing weight’ – and alteratively choosing a more motivating phrase instead.

When we talk about ‘loss’ in general – is it usually associated with happiness or sadness? Sadness – that’s right – loss of a loved one, job loss, loss of human rights etc. LOSS has many negative connotations to it and yet we use it more or less all the time when referring to the process of slimming or shedding excess fat! So no wonder you feel so miserable when you keep referring to weight loss on your journey to your ideal weight!!!

Also – what about losing weight? Do you want to lose weight? Yes of course you do but seriously – do you want to ‘find’ it again too? Probably not!!! When we lose something (usually car keys for me!) we ultimately set off to find it don’t we? So our mind has linked lost, loosing, lose etc with something that we need to find – so guess what – if it ‘hears’ your saying that you have lost weight – it may well feel obliged to help you find it again – just as it helped you find those missing keys the other week!

So chose your words wisely – every day – not just on matters of slimming! If you are trying to shed a few pounds or a mountain of fat – then tell yourself and others that you are ‘letting go’ of the excess fat/weight – as letting go suggests we had something once that served a purpose (a boyfriend/book/behaviour etc) but now we no longer need it so we ‘let it go’ to make us feel better.

Or use an even more positive phrase which not only uses more positive language but also provides an image (it will do each time you say it believe me) in your mind of your desired goal – the slimmer you.

Starting each day with a positive affirmation and visualization – of ‘I am slim and healthy’ focuses your mind on what you want (slim and healthy), tells your mind exactly what you want (slim and healthy) and helps you to remain focused on what you want to obtain (yes you’ve guessed it -slim and healthy).

Change your language today and see how much better you feel about your journey to a slimmer and healthier and happier you! IT Does make a difference to how you feel and if you feel better you will feel more motivated and if you feel more motivated (you are getting quick now aren’t you?!) you are more likely to succeed at reaching your ideal weight!

So chose to let go of your excess weight and focus on your ideal weight and shape – see it, hear it and feel it – it can be yours!

Good luck – and if you need some help with letting go of those nasty beliefs preventing you from reaching your ideal weight – give me a shout! I have helped hundreds (including myself) to fulfil their goals of reaching and maintain their ideal weight – so I can help you too!!

An Abundance of Gratitude

When it comes to the Law of Attraction and abundance (wealth, happiness, love etc) gratitude plays a pivotal role. We know that we have to focus on what we want (wealth), and believe that we will receive it and be grateful now for it, however if we are less that grateful for what we have already received – then why would the Universe be willing to provide you with further abundance, or anyone else for that matter?

We should all know that a simple thank you is polite to express gratitude whenever we receive anything from anyone else, whether it’s a compliment, a gift or a drink – thank you shows our gratitude and tells the Universe that you are open to receiving more. It’s also polite too!

However, how much gratitude is necessary? Granted some people may want more than a thank you whilst others may not mind if you never say thank you – so how grateful do you need to be?

Well I’m guessing your idea of gratitude is linked to what you were taught as a child – if you were shown that gratitude is important then you will probably say thank you and mean it. If you were given things without being taught about how to show gratitude – you probably have grown up ungrateful and rude (never too late to change!) however it doesn’t mean that you can not change that.

I work with many people to clear all sorts of limiting beliefs from ‘I’m not good enough’ to ‘the world’s a scary place’ as well as limiting beliefs surrounding wealth and abundance. If you believe money is ‘bad’ or ‘there are more worthy people out there’ then you are probably limiting your potential wealth.

I worked on my limiting beliefs regarding money and was surprised at how guilt was linked to abundance for me. And why? My family ensured, as I do, that we kids were grateful for any treats that we received (and they weren’t in abundance either) which is how it should be, however when I looked back at certain incidents, it became clear that I was made to feel guilty if I didn’t appear grateful enough. Sometimes a simple thank you did not suffice!

That left me feeling anxious about receiving things because I was worried about any repercussions later – what if I got my new jumper dirty/ate all those chocolates now – would that mean I wasn’t grateful enough? It then became clear how I had grown up feeling uncomfortable about receiving gifts as well as believing that everyone else in the world was more worthy than I (especially the starving kids in Africa).

So once you become aware of your ‘money’ issues you can go on to release these limiting beliefs using EFT. EFT is a fabulous way of removing the ’emotion’ attached to your beliefs – a belief is merely a thought with STRONG emotion attached – remove the emotion and remove the belief.

However ALWAYS make sure you tap in a new empowering ‘wealth’ belief such as ‘I am worthy of the best things in life’, ‘I love receiving abundance’ etc. Removing a negative belief leaves a space so fill it with something positive – a new empowering belief!

So remember it’s always great to receive things and to be grateful for them – but no one has the right to make you feel guilty about receiving – they can try – but it’s your choice! If thank you isn’t enough then there may well be other issues or motives involved – be wary!

Receive and be grateful and allow abundance in to your life.

For more info on EFT – check out my webpage http://www.mcrhypnotherapy.com/eftmanchester.html

Remember a time…….

…a specific time when you felt great about yourself, when you achieved something or when you just felt so relaxed or great to be alive. And as you remember that time now I want you to really get a sense of being right back in that moment right now…..perhaps close your eyes and see the memory now.

See it as though you were right back in that moment now, as though you were looking through your eyes and really see everything that you could see at that time. Hear what you could hear – perhaps people talking – and really get a sense of how great you felt at that time.

And you may be surprised at how good you are beginning to feel as your mind re-associates into those feelings at that time. Now make that image bigger, brighter, perhaps make the sounds crisper and notice how the feelings become stronger and stronger.

Keep focusing on everything that was going on at that time and feel all those feel good feelings flooding through your body again and doesn’t it feel good to know that you can feel this good when ever you want to?

How? By simply focusing on happy memories or positive things in our lives – such as gratitude – you can begin to feel a lot more positive and a whole heap happier.

If you suffer from depression or anxiety you have a tendency to focus on the ‘bad’ things or those things that make us feel anxious. You go through old hurts over and over again replaying them over and over again in your mind however, unlike a movie reel which will wear out over time, these memories seem to get stronger and more powerful the more you play them.

Sometimes these memories become distorted in some way so that they appear worse than what they actually were and all the time our mind is remembering and reliving these ‘bad’ memories your body is re-experiencing all those old ‘bad’ feelings.

Your cells become accustomed to certain feelings (depression, anxiety, anger) and you stay trapped in a cycle of bad feelings, as your body begins to ‘crave’ those ‘bad’ feelings because it’s all it knows so you continue to focus on those old memories and those negative feelings. Then you get given a label. Depressive. OCD. Frustrated.

If you want to beat depression, anxiety, anger, sadness, worthlessness or any other negative emotion then it’s time to change the movies you run in your mind. However before you do that you need to become aware of them first!

So take a few day to ‘listen in’ to your thoughts, and discover what things you dwell on – and write them down. You will be amazed at how a pattern seems to form. Once you become aware of what you focus on, then make a commitment to yourself that you are going to change. Write this down to and state it in the positive.

So if you want to let go of depression and feel happier then make a commitment to yourself to focus on the happy things in life and always see the good in any situation. If you want to be less angry, then make a commitment to stay calm in every situation and to speak calmly and politely to everyone.

Once you have made that commitment, for the next 30 days you need to change the movies in your mind or those negative thoughts to ones that are more supportive of your new outlook.

So as soon as you find yourself dwelling on that memory of you feeling sad, say CANCEL in your mind and bring in a new happy memory (and yes you will have them you have just chosen to forget them!) and focus on this memory for about 15-20 seconds. Each and every time you have a negative thought say CANCEL in your mind and change to positive supportive thoughts such as ‘I am happy’, ‘I am in control’ etc.

Write a reminder of what you are doing somewhere visible so that you are reminded everyday what you are doing. Use post it notes and stick them on mirrors, cupboard doors etc to remind you to change those old movies or thoughts to new, positive and supporting ones.

Yes some days will feel like an up hill struggle and that’s okay. Persevere. Because it’s natural to come up with some resistance when you are making changes to your life. So know that it’s natural to ‘fight’ these new changes and keep on going!

You can change how you feel and depression, anxiety, anger, low self esteem and all those horrible feelings are all run on automatic. Your thoughts run who you are so make a commitment to change how you feel and change your thoughts.

However in order to succeed there are three words of advice for you.

Persevere. Persevere. Persevere.

 

 

 

It’s just a thought

Thoughts are amazing aren’t they? They rule our lives without a second thought (pardon the pun) from us.

Thoughts make us who we are. They drive our beliefs, our moods, our choices and even what we have for dinner. So why is that we give so little attention to what is actually going on in our heads? Why do we not question our thoughts more often? Perhaps because we are unaware of the thousands of thoughts we have everyday!

It is estimated that we have around 50,000 thoughts per day and that 70 – 80% of those are negative (Wow, no wonder we feel so bad most of the time!) So as you can see it’s virtually impossible to keep on top of every thought we have however we can begin to notice those repetitive negative thoughts that lie behind limiting habits, behaviours and feelings.

Awareness is key to change, so it’s important to become more aware of your thoughts. So choose one area in your life that you would like to change say weight loss for example or anxiety. So when you notice those cravings or the need to overeat, ask yourself ‘what am I thinking right now?’ and focus on your thoughts. You shouldn’t be surprised that they will be based on either food, feeling better or the desire to do what you want (eat excessively).

Make a note to be aware of your thoughts surrounding your cravings etc for a couple of days. Each time you have the urge to overeat – ask yourself ‘what am I thinking right now’ and make a note of any thoughts on your mind. This will give you an insight as to what drives your cravings and motivates you to overeat. Perhaps you may notice that you feeling sad or lonely, maybe it’s a voice telling you how much you like chocolate or it may even be a thought telling you that you have a right to eat what you like, but listen to these thoughts and write them down.

As you become more aware of what drives your overeating you are better able to successfully tackle the issue. Also REMEMBER a thought is just that. It’s a thought. It has no impact on you what so ever – only if you let it – so realise firstly that these thoughts are just habitual thought patterns that you are ‘used to’ and which you respond to without question.

When you are aware of your thought patterns – question them!  Yes chocolate tastes nice but surely nothing tastes as good as thin feels? You have every right to eat what you want but you choose to be healthy and slim instead don’t you?. Once you are aware of these thoughts it’s easier to question their validity and then change the negative thoughts to more positive and motivating ones instead and you can do this by using something known as a Pattern Interrupt.  A pattern interrupt is an NLP technique which  is incredibly simple yet can blow apart those negative thought patterns easily and quickly and replace them with ones that are more beneficial for you.

Basically you stop the negative thoughts as soon as you become aware of them by saying STOP in your head (or CANCEL) and then you immediately introduce a positive more motivating thought pattern instead (click here to watch a video on how to carry out this pattern interrupt). I use this technique all the time which is great however the most powerful change for me is that I now realize that a thought is just that – it’s a thought and as such I can listen to it, ignore it or change it. It holds no power over me. How incredibly liberating!

If you have OCD and upsetting negative thoughts then it’s worthwhile to remember that your thoughts are just thoughts. They only control you if you let them so if you want to take back control of your OCD then STOP those thought patterns by using the pattern interrupt. OCD is repetitive negative thoughts so this Stop! Pattern is an excellent way for you to take back control of your thoughts, your life and your emotions too. So give it a go and if you need any further help then give me a ring today on 07532 110457.

Try this Stop! Pattern out – but remember – a thought is just a thought………..

 

 

 

Stop! Pattern – Pattern Interupt

Break any habit or negative thought pattern easily with this simple NLP technique! Re-write your thoughts and habits and change how you think, feel and act yourself. Perseverance is key here however the more you do this the more positive your life will become! Good luck.