I saw a recent affirmation that said something along the lines of – I’m sorry that I wont allow you to disrespect me and if that makes me ‘difficult’ then OK (obviously worded much better than this!)
And this resonated with me. So many times we blame others for out bad mood or our bad behaviour or out bad attitude yet the only person truly responsible is us. People can annoy the hell out of us, be rude to us or be completely offensive to us – yet we respond is our choice.
This also resonated on another level too. I work with difficult children and live with two too! I can become the garbage bin if I allow my students to constantly dump their rubbish on me – though to be honest – it’s more all over the floor and no where near the bin.
What’s important when you work with people, deal with people or live with people – is to NOT allow people to disrespect you. This does not mean that you have to rise up to every slight. it just means that you allow the other person to accept responsibility for their behaviour. By pointing out their poor behaviour you allow them the opportunity to learn and possibly adapt their behaviour. This is growth.
Not only are you not accepting their crap, you are allowing them the opportunity to grow.
On the other hand, if you constantly avoid dealing with people’s rude behaviour on a continual basis, it not only wears you down (there is a difference between ignoring it and allowing it) it also enables them to continue on their path of poor behaviour.
And it’s so much easier for them to label you as ‘difficult’ rather than to address their behaviour. And you know what – it that makes them feel better than fine. That’s their story and don’t make it yours.
So next time someone is disrespectful to you . Point it out. Calmly. And if they don’t like it – hard shit. Remember you didn’t much like their behaviour either!
We can be so ineffectual at dealing with rude behaviour and sometimes we need to bite the proverbial bullet and deal with it. It’s really not worth our effort if it’s a one off thing but with people we are in contact with often, it’s time to lay down some boundaries, dole out some home truths and allow the other person to grow.