Will You Find The Weight You Lose?

I remember my dad always telling us when we were kids how English is a precise language. He was referring to what I suppose you could call Freudian Slips – when someone says something that they didn’t mean to say on a conscious level but it is believed to be what they wanted to say on a subconscious level. When someone dies – instantaneously our minds adapt to the past tense when speaking about them and it always amazes me how quickly our mind and language adapt. This has been the downfall of many a murderer on those murder mystery programs – when they unconsciously refer to the missing person in the past tense.

So when we talk about losing weight – what are we actually saying? That we want to lose weight? I am sure you would love to lose weight but do you really want to find it again? No I bet you don’t! So if you are one of the millions of people in the UK who is trying to ‘lose’ weight – surely you are using the wrong terminology? Because your mind is a pretty amazing tool and if it is told to ‘lose’ weight it will do what it is told to do – however it isn’t stupid – it also knows that when you lose things, car keys, money, those new earrings, you want to find them. So no surprise that  when you lose weight you eventually find it again!

So if English is a precise language and your mind understands the English Language  that you use (and the part of the mind that is responsible for your behaviours and habits- the subconscious mind – is literal too – so it will do what you tell it to) – even in your thoughts – then perhaps it’s about time you changed how you talked about your weight loss. The word loss itself has some pretty sad connotations attached to it too as it depicts actual ‘loss’ – loss of a loved one, loss of confidence, loss of love etc.

So if you want to shed that excess weight then use a word that gets your subconscious mind on board with your goal, after all this is the most powerful part of your mind. When we ‘shed’ things – like dead skin (yes it’s not a pleasant example but it works!)  we let go of it once and for all. It is ‘old’ and needs to be released – we don’t expect to get back something we have shed.

When we get rid of something this also suggests we are letting go of something that we no longer want, perhaps something that once served a purpose but no longer does now. ‘I got rid of all my old clothes the other day’, ‘I got rid of him, he was no good for me’.

When you want to lose weight – drop the ‘loss’ or ‘lose’ – and use a far more powerful and meaningful term instead such as ‘getting rid of excess weight’ or ‘shedding weight’.  Get your subconscious mind on board to help you reach your ideal weight – and make sure you set a weekly target for weight loss too – and make it reasonable and do-able. One or two pounds a week is okay (lift up a bag of sugar if you doubt this) and make sure to reward yourself when your reach your goals with something other than food.

So if you want to get rid of your excess weight – then I wish you the best. If you are struggling with your new healthy eating regime then think about purchasing my new Be Slim Hypnosis CD (and yes it does have the word loss on it – however that is a purely marketing choice!!)

Remember your excess weight is something that you want to say goodbye to once and for all so use a term to express this mentality – shed weight or let it go or get rid of it but definitely not lose it!!


How Big Is Your Chip?

I was out walking with my sons yesterday evening when the eldest saw a car pass which triggered a memory from the previous week.

He told me that he was on his way to the bus stop in the morning when a girl who lives round the corner and her mum drive past him. He said he became aware that they were looking at him so he tried to see who it was that was looking at him – if you catch my drift (or his!)

As they drove past he became aware of who it was and thought something along the lines of ‘why were they staring at me?’ He thought nothing of it until moments later the girl’s mum pulled over, wound down her window and shouted at my son, ‘why were you staring at my daughter?’ To say that my son was shocked, was an understatement. Thankfully he had the common sense to ignore her and to continue walking to the bus stop.

I too was shocked when he recounted the story and asked him how he felt. ‘Not bothered’ came his reply however he is quite a sensitive soul and I knew he would have been upset. His brother had caught the story too and I asked them how they think I would have reacted if I noticed someone staring in the car at us. ‘Nothing’ came their reply.

‘Exactly!’ I replied ‘because for starters how do I know they were staring at us and even if they were, is it really a big deal?’

‘No’ they replied in unison.

‘She obviously has a chip on her shoulder’ I commented, without much thought as to whether the boys understood the term or not. However my eldest son laughed and said that when he first heard that phrase he literally thought it meant that someone had a chip on their shoulder. I explained as best I could that it referred to a person’s lack of confidence or a fear of being judged.

Even as I write this today I’m still amazed this silly woman pulled over to have a go at my 11 year old son who was happily walking along to the bus stop, minding his own business! All I can think is that this poor woman has it bad when it comes to believing that ‘everyone is out to get her’ and her poor daughter won’t be far behind her either, no thanks to her confrontational behaviour. No wonder people have a go at her if she behaves the way she does!!

I had a friend a while back who apparently had been banned from most of the pubs and clubs in her area due to her rather ‘in your face’ behaviour. She had a huge chip on her shoulder and before anyone could have the chance to judge her or indeed even welcome her or say hello – she was on them. She made sure they knew she was no ‘pushover’ and that she was ‘good enough’ so don’t mess with her! What she didn’t see was how her behaviour invited confrontation.

Yet these people never see how their confrontational behaviour is what’s responsible for people ‘getting at them’. Why a full grown woman would feel intimidated by an 11 year old boy looking in her car is one thing but to stop the car and make an issue out of it is quite another thing! Seriously – some people really need to get a life!!

It is down to us parents to set and example to our kids and whilst I am no perfect role model, I always instil in my kids that other people’s behaviour is about the other person and not them. What people say to others will always say more about them that it will do about the people they are saying it too. I tell them to ignore rudeness as it’s not about them but the other person and thankfully they seem to have taken this on board.

So to the mum’s who abuse kids because you don’t feel good enough – shame on you! And to the mum that shouted at my son – keep your problems to yourself and don’t pass them on to my son – he doesn’t want them – he has his own problems to deal with!