Society today, especially in the UK, is all about speed and keeping up with the proverbial ‘Jones’. We are constantly bombarded with images of beautiful and slim women, sleek cars and holidays in paradise and for most of us, we fall into the trap of wanting what we are led to believe is ‘normal’.
But what is normal? And what is normal for me almost certainly is not normal for you – so why do we feel pressured into being like everyone else? Why are we too scared to stand out from the crowd and be ‘different’?
Self esteem or lack of it means we are forever doubting ourselves, doubting whether we are pretty enough, thin enough, clever enough or drive the right car and it can be never ending and incredibly exhausting! If we really felt good enough would we feel it necessary to follow the masses, reassuring ourselves that we really do prefer this wine/book/car/film/department store or would we simply do what honestly suits us?
Knowing what you want in life is a good place to start in building self esteem. Ask yourself – What makes you happy? What do you enjoy doing? What makes you smile? When you know what you actually want in life as opposed to what everyone else believes is right for you, then you can work your way towards reaching your goals.
A simple method to help boost self esteem is to visualize yourself as you want to be – how you are going to be in the future. However when you do this exercise, you must focus on the ‘new you’ as if it’s you now. See everything about that new you – how you look, how you stand even how you dress and notice how you sound and how you feel. Really get into how great it feels to feel good about yourself and see yourself doing the things that you would love to do.
When you visualize yourself – really get into the feelings associated with the ‘new you’ and this will really help you to become more confident and feel better about yourself. When you see yourself talking to others, perhaps you can see yourself sticking up for yourself and mentally go through the words that you would use as this helps to reprogram your mind and get your subconscious mind on board with this project. I am sure you have heard the saying ‘what the mind can conceive the mind will achieve’ so if you visualize this ‘new you’ often during the day your subconscious mind is picking up these messages on how you really want to behave and it will help you bring into action what you desire!
Also you will begin to feel better after visualizing yourself and feel more confident and better about who you are too but one very important thing to realize is, no-one has the power to make you feel bad apart from yourself. I can already hear people denying this, but think about it for a moment. If someone is rude to you – it is only their opinion of you and more often than not – not a fact. So you have the power whether you wish to accept what that person says or reject it. Which one would make you feel better?
So next time someone is rude to you you can either ignore it or get upset about it, the choice is yours but by ignoring it you are taking control and remember that what a person says, says more about that person than it will ever do about you i.e. if they are rude to you it is them that has the problem – it is them that is rude!
So if you want to feel better about yourself and boost your self esteem remember you have a right to feel good about yourself – you can decide what you wish to believe about yourself and no-one else can make you feel bad unless you let them. Also continually practice visualization and see that ‘new you’ – confident, self assured and feeling great – not only will you feel great afterwards but you will also be reprogramming your mind for success in the future!
Good luck and speak soon!